heaven forbid i should waste

i drink out of a 36 oz water bottle. the mouth is about 2.5 inches in diameter. there's a little bit left i want to finish before refilling. i tilt my head all the way back. it dribbles into my mouth. there is still a bit left. i jerk the bottle and a huge dollop of water lands directly in my eye. not a little on my face, but completely in my eyeball, proper. as soon as i tilt my head back up, it pours down my cheek. luckily i don't wear much makeup, so it's only my mascara that runs off.

fine. lesson learned. thanks.

Here's the thing: I'm officially sick of being at work. I will have 24 hours of overtime on my next paycheck. The money aspect is great. The fact that I've crammed 3 full days into my regular 2 week schedule is not so great. This morning I woke up right before my alarm went off. I was fully awake and well-rested. But it took me an entire hour to actually get *out* of bed. Because I feel like I just left. And I'm working tomorrow 5am-1pm. Ugh. OK. Enough complaining.

On the up side, Sarah brought up telecommuting all by herself. I was going to sit her down in January--once all of this has calmed down--and ask her what the action plan was. (see all the cool new lingo i'm picking up?) But *she* came to *me* and said first quarter they were going to have this position and the AAPG positions move to home-based. She also said, "We did this at Star* and I don't see why we can't do this here...have people working from other states." This made me very excited. If I go home in Jan/Feb, that gives me a solid 4-5 months here to get used to telecommuting before heading to Cali. Yippee!!

__________
* Sarah and I both used to work at Star.

I like lemon scones.

A lot.

hi.
hi.
where are you? are you at a party or something?
no, i'm in new orleans. remember when we took that tour? the woman who tortured those slaves?
yeah, the ghost tour. that was freaky.
(out of all the stories we heard on that tour, that one is the only one i remember)
i'm right behind a tour group. i'm visiting tatiara.
oh! tell her i said hi!
i will.
so, what are you going to do when you get back to new york?
i'm not going back.
you just up and left?
yep.
what did you tell your job?
that i was seriously not going to come in anymore.
(he had quit a while ago, and they didn't really accept it. "why don't you just keep coming in til this project is finished")
wow. good for you. you only live once, you know?
yeah.
so, what are you going to do?
i don't know. travel for a bit.
well, i hope your travels bring you to AZ. you've always got a place to stay with me.
thanks. i'll probably take you up on that.
man, i have some great places to take you to eat.
i love food.
i know.

OK, seriously, how the hell could this eposide be so much better than the four before? Things are finally coming together. The little brother's power is clearly that he gloms from the others around him. Hiro remains the baddest. I was so energized watching the episode. It was just so far above the others that it made me forget my beef. Way to go.

I think the trick was that damn professor's son was hardly in it. And Forrest from Buffy is D.L. Next week's episode looks amazing, too. This is the first time that I'm excited to see what's new!

it's over.

i'm going to bed.

I'm off work in an hour to head to the theater. After the show, there's a little party thing we have to go to. Honestly, I'd much rather strike and go to bed. Or rather, strike, watch Heroes, and go to bed. I don't need to go to this party. But, I don't think I really have a choice on this one. So I'm trying to judge just how long it's going to take. Show will probably end around 8. Then an hour party, then an hour or so strike. I'll probably get home around 10ish. At least this is my last late night. Hopefully we can have KsomeA rehearsal Thursday. And by mid-November, this 15 extra hours a week at work will be back to normal.

I need to get my ass to the gym. I'm sure Eric has more insights into the human psyche to blow my mind.

mmm...sleepy sleep.

I finally feel rested. After a completely exhausting week, last night I got to bed before 10pm. Actually, I think it was closer to 9 or 9:30. I woke up just before 7:30 after a night of some really weird, violent dreams. One of them involved being in this underground abandon train tunnel. There were two guys: one I had to save, one I had to kill. Except I didn't know which one was which, and the fate of the world rested on me killing the right one. The first one I met was taller and blonde. He was nice. The second one came shortly after and started fighting almost immediately. He was younger, shorter, with dark hair. We fought for a long time (he was not only fighting me, but trying to kill the blonde), until the boys called a truce so we could sleep for the night. The next morning, after not sleeping and thinking about the actions of the day before, I realized I was trying to kill the wrong one. The fighting started again, and I ended up stabbing the blonde to death with a twig. The dark haired guy and I just sat there, out of breath, staring at each other.
"How did you know? What made you change your mind?"
"I don't know. He was too nice."

That's when I woke up. But, I feel really rested for the first time in I can't remember. Instead of hiking, Faith and I are going out to breakfast. I look like a trainwreck, but too bad. I'm not even brushing my hair. After breakfast is a day full of rehearsal. I can hear her keys rumbling. I should go.

It's 8 o'clock. In the morning. On a Saturday. I've already been at work for 3 hours. Straight from here I head to Demons rehearsal. That starts at 10, but I can't get out of here before noon, plus I have to grab lunch. Rehearsal lasts all day. I'm getting paid to stage manage. But I'm really not doing anything, and I totally don't deserve to get paid. I hope it's a *very* small amount. Other than this weekend, I haven't put any time into the play. I had rehearsal last night, but I left at 10 since I had to be up at 4 for work.

I miss improv. I miss my friends. I miss Malibu already. Exactly one week ago I was in the pull-out bed with Courtney trying to sleep with all of the light in the room. I gave up around 9, grabbed a boogie board and some strawberries, and went out to the ocean. The waves weren't breaking soon enough to ride, plus there was a giant rock in the middle, so it wasn't the safest place. I ended up taking the board out decently far and just laying on it, letting the little waves move me around. After a while, I noticed a woman and her daughter on the beach. The mom was exercising, and the girl was playing. It was very cute. I was also glad to have company. See, I have this thing where I don't like to not see what's below me. Occasionally I'd think I would see something in the water swimming, but I convinced myself it was just my imagination. Because if I were to get eaten by a shark, I'd be pretty screwed since no one was with me. I could see the condo from where I was, and it looked like people were up and watching me. That was weird so I swam in and had some strawberries.

I chatted with the mom and daughter for a few minutes. They asked me if I saw the seals. Apparently, the thing I thought was swimming under me was not my imagination, after all. I guess five of them were hanging out watching me, about 10 feet away. I couldn't see them b/c of the angle of the sun on the water, which was a good thing. I most likely would have freaked out. Seals eat their young. I was determined to not get killed on this trip. Anyway, I guess that's what the people on the balcony were watching, as well. The woman said as soon as I swam in, they went away. I went back out again, but no seals this time. So I headed back to the condo. I took my ipod and a towel and laid out on the roof. The seals popped their head out of the water right in front of our condo. That was pretty cool.

thank you, bill binder

if you need me, i will be in the parking garage quietly weeping in my car. just follow the trail of hair i have pulled out in a fit of frustration.

I am so stressed out right now I could puke up an aneurysm. If you are my friend, I would advise against talking to me until after next Tuesday.

I posted new pics from Malibu. You can click on New Photos on the right, or I believe this will take you there.

I take the stairs in the morning up to the fourth floor. This morning as I took my first step, I thought, "hmm, smells like fresh paint." There were no signs confirming this thought. Then, like the gravitational pull of the sun, my hand went directly to the hand rail.

Yep. Fresh, wet paint.

Is it time to go back to work already? Eff. Can't I have one more day off? I need to sleep.

If I was a normal person, I would have terribly bruised knees and horribly scraped wrists. Mainly from taking a pounding in the ocean. And climbing a rock made of razors. But, alas, I only have a tiny scrape on my wrist from the boogie board rope and a quarter-sized blue spot from climbing on the roof so much. (there was no easy way to get up or down. but I didn't plummet to my death on the rocks below, so that's a huge plus) Oh! I did have a nice hand print on my thigh from being smacked during a 10 person pile up on the pull out bed. But that went away the next day.

The weekend was exhausting and fantastic. Stories and pictures and video to come. For now, I have to get back to real life. Boo.

There is a whole housefull of people downstairs and I'm up here posting. Why? I don't know. Sometimes it just gets too loud. But it's so great here. The ocean makes me happier than I can describe. I'm with good people and about to meet some more good ones. Hmm...maybe I should get back to it.

Yes. People are coming in and making fun of me. NIN is playing. yea!

45 more minutes!

and the best part is: i have all of the work organized for people to do while i'm gone. today was a very productive day. huzzah!

If you are staying in PXH, go see Jerm from Austin at the Trunk Space tonight. And say Happy Birthday to Mack!!!

Last night I cancelled my session with Eric and took a nap instead. This was a good idea--I didn't get the migraine. Yea for that! Car is packed. Camera is ready. Banana nut bread is made. Directions are printed. Excitement is brewing.

With 10+ people staying in the house, there will be minimal alone time. But I'm hoping to get away from everyone and chill out for a while. I've constantly been around so many people lately that I miss just being by myself. At least I have a solo 5 hour car ride in a few hours. :-) And the house where I'm staying tonight is going to be empty when I get there. So that will be a nice transition. I can stretch and go to bed.

Cross your fingers that I don't go crazy and buy a surfboard and wetsuit this weekend!

Crap! I only have 30 minutes left and I still have piles of stuff on my desk to figure out. Even at 9 hour days, there's still not enough time. And my eyesight is doing that thing it does right before I get a migraine. I haven't had one since the week before I moved to PHX three-and-a-half years ago. I don't have time for a migraine! I have to train with Eric and pack and bake and clean!

I am not cut out for management. This takeover is stressing me out. I have eight hundred piles of crap on my desk that I have to figure out. Plus I need to make sure people have enough work to handle while I'm gone. Each time I start on something, another, more important something comes up and I can't finish what I'm in the middle of. I am very anal, and it has been hard for me to switch to this new way of thinking. I need to have things checked off my list. Instead, my list keeps growing. I feel like I'm not going to get everything done by tomorrow. It's hard to keep my head above water. Plus, when I get back, I have to go to rehearsals for this play I'm stage managing--which I can't really get out of at this point. On top of working 15 hours of overtime weekly through November.

I feel like I'm losing touch with people; like I'm not being a good friend. I'm not at my desk for most of the day, so I'm not having the usual email chats I'm used to. I know this is only for a few more weeks, so everyone I'm not talking to: know that I miss you and I'm sorry.

I was hoping to leave for LA by 2ish tomorrow. Most likely I'll get stuck here til 3:30, which means hitting PHX rush hour. Ugh, I am SO looking forward to recharging this weekend. Tonight I bake a banana nut bread and have one last training session before I leave. Yesterday Eric and I discussed calling women "baby". I will miss his insights for a while. Next week, between overtime and rehearsals, I will only be able to meet with him once. On the up side, my body is getting used to this new exercise regimen and I'm no longer hobbling around like and old lady.

Hey, Denver people: Have fun and good luck with shows!! Tell Nanna I said hi.

30 Rock

Go watch this!! Oh, Jack McBrayer, I now get to see you every week. You are a delight.

1 more day!!

Fashion show, fashion show, fashion show at work!!

OK, not really--ever since Kelly's cheer last Thursday, Faith and I have had that stuck in our heads. But there was one last night at home. After another enlightening session with Eric at the gym (this one involved a discussion of the pros and cons of living in New Orleans. pro: southern woman just want to please you. ie "cooking, cleaning, other stuff...you know"), Faith helped me figure out my Saturday night outfit. I wanted to look nice, but not too dressy. So I'm wearing my $5 skirt I got with Michelle (originally $78), and a purple scoop neck tshirt I got with Faith. The scoop is low enough to be foxxxy, but not too low to be trashy. Tosha will very much appreciate it. Faith's letting me borrow a funky necklace and bracelet. Oh, and I'm wearing my cute brown heels.

Tonight's festivities include grocery shopping for banana nut bread ingredients. I'm making one for the people staying in the Malibu house. And I have to hit Sam's Club to pick up 4 bottles of liquor. The people staying in the house are bringing two bottles each to stock the party. Caroline wanted it to be a little classier. She's hiring a bartender and didn't want it to be BYOB. So, we're supplying the drinks. And I'm buying for zha, as he has to fly in from NYC. Oh, and I'm going to *try* to make this yoga class at 7. But between work, another session with Eric, and my errands, I may not make it.

Heroes was last night. I haven't had a chance to complain about the crappy writing, melodramatic acting, giant plot holes, and complete ridiculousness of it (I mean, come on! If you're going to bury guys out in the middle of the desert, don't freaking leave your shovel in the ground (which, by the way, was oh-so-sparkly and looked brand new, not like it had just been used for the past 6 hours to dig up the earth!) right on the spot (as a headstone) where their dead, rotting corpses are!). But I still watch, in hopes that it will get better. And for Hiro. That guy is great!

Oh, some pseudo-exciting news: The Neverending Story was my favorite movie growing up. Stephanie Pilgrim and I would watch that and The Dark Crystal every Friday and Saturday night for about three years straight. The first night Foxy Boy and I hung out years ago, he looked through the movies I owned and picked that one out to watch. I immediately liked him. Well, when we talked this weekend, he mentioned it was playing at the Beverly Center. Now, I can't tell if he was kidding or if he was serious. On top of that, if he was serious, it might not be playing on Thursday. But how great would that be to go see my favorite childhood movie on the big screen?!!?! I would implode with happiness!

Oh man, 2 more days!

I'm up and at work before the sun rises these days.

*Harumph*

On the upside, 3 more days til California!

I have received several wrong number calls in the past couple of months, and I must say, these are the most polite people I've ever heard. If I miss a call, they leave a message apologizing for the mistake. If I answer a call, they are always very nice and sorry-to-bother-you. In OH, the caller just hangs up. Or there was that one time in the morning when the guy started to hit on me.
"Is Kelly there."
"No, you've got the wrong number."
"Oh, sorry baby. Well, who is this?"
"Not who you're looking for." (I was the one who disconnected that call)

All in all, Arizona wrong number people are terrific.



4 days to go!

And another thing....

my hardcore workout from yesterday is finally hitting me. i woke up this morning and climbed down my ladder with very little pain. but i could tell my muscles were spent. they were almost shaking. i realized that in a few hours, the soreness would hit. and it has. i am now hobbling around the office like an old lady. man, i'm excited about having a trainer again--even if he has way too much testosterone. but i've just come to accept that that's how trainers are. Not all of them can be Bob.

It is 6:57 am. In 3 minutes I will have been at work for two hours. I woke up at 1 am, then 3:45, paranoid that I would miss my alarm, which i thought was going off at 4. It didn't. A phone call woke me up, instead.

Me: ohgodwhattimeisit?
Foxy Boy: 4:09. why do you sound awake?
Me: my alarm was supposed to go off at 4 so i could eat breakfast before work.

as we were talking, the alarm went off at 4:15. i forgot i had set it for that time. this is the earliest i have been to work in my entire life, and i must say, I'm doing pretty well.

2 hours down. 6 more to go.

5 days til Malibu!

Lightning!

Faith's play was supposed to open last night, but because of a flood and power outage, they did not. It is lightning like crazy here. Cross your fingers that we lose power in this building! I am so not in the mood to be at work this morning.

Oh, and did I mention that I have a personal trainer again? I do miss me some Dominic every once in a while. My first session with the new guy, Eric, was Monday. My abs are *still* sore (this is a good sign). He doesn't have the I-just-turned-21-and-can't-remember-my-weekends mentality that Dom had. Nor does he have the surfer dialect. He does, however, have a screenplay that is very close to being purchased (he knows a guy who knows a guy). Now, if you are in the business at all, you are aware of the definition of "being close to selling a screenplay." It is, having the check in your hand. Actually selling a screenplay means cashing the check, and it doesn't bounce. I look forward to the next several months of pain with this guy. It will be interesting to see how the screenplay situation turns out. Good luck, Eric.

**Update: A huge bolt of lightning just disrupted the white noise they play here. It was quiet for a few seconds. We are very close to losing power! Come on, Mr. Lightning! I know you can do it!

This time next week I will be in Los Angeles. Only a few hours away from picking zha up at the airport. Only a few more hours away from being on the beach. I am the happiest camper.

Also, I really really want to like Heroes, but the crappy show is making it very difficult. I have a rant about this, which I hope to have up later this weekend. Monday is a new episode. We'll see...

6 more days!

I realized at the end of last week, after days of meetings and teleconferences, that Sarah has basically put me in charge of the transition for this new book of business. This is the first time in my life where not only do I feel appreciated where I work, but that they recognize my contributions. I mean, in the past I've been loved where I work. I have been given freedom and leeway that they didn't give others. But, at the same time, I worked my tail off, so it's not like it came out of nowhere. At AGIA, however, I really like it here. I like who I work with, and I like the responsibility they've given me. And I feel like the compensation is pretty fair. Which is why I guess I'm not too worried about May. See, I've decided to move to L.A. whether or not my job transfers. This was a huge decision for me. I've been putting off the move, waiting for things to be handed to me; waiting for the right timing. I'm tired of waiting. And I don't want to look back 10 years from now and realize I'm still waiting. It's time to go.

I have a feeling it will all work out.

9 days til Malibu.