Sunday, November 11, 2012

Today I am overwhelmingly sad. It's coming up on the one year anniversary of the death of Professor Snugglebottoms. My nightmares are becoming more frequent and more intense. E mentioned a while ago that I probably have PTSD. This week especially I feel that I should probably talk with someone about it. But I'm bombarded with work, shows, rehearsals, and class. I can't look at road kill. I can't even think about him because it just switches over to watching him get run over. And then not dying until we were in the car on the way to the pet ER. Last night I met E for dinner and passed that place. It took every ounce of my being to not burst into tears. I thought I would be passed it by now. But I'm not. There are so many things I'm not happy with. The roommate situation is not great. I did not sign up to live with a couple, and I am. But it's only for a few months, so I'm trying to power through it. I like having nice things, and they keep breaking or messing up my stuff. I just spent some time in OH with the parents, and I'm worried about the health of both of them. I'm worried about early onset Alzheimer's. I'm worried about my dad's back and hip and the possibility of surgery and how his heart will hold up. I'm worried about an 8 year old hernia that my mom never fixed. I realize it does no good to think about these things and that I have no control over them, but I just found out all of this stuff last week, so it's new and fresh. Ugh. What a bummer of a post. Sorry.


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