Wednesday, March 31, 2004

I'm not making these up. This is really what this week's survival tip is. I hope I never have to use any of these.

How to Wrestle Free From an Alligator
1. If you are on dry land, try to get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck.
2. Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate.
3. If you are attacked, go for the eyes and nose. Use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4. If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (for example, a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouths when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of, and back off.
5. If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over--the instinctual actions cause sever tissue damage. Try to keep the alligator mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking.
6. Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths.

*Tip: To avoid an alligator attack, do not swim in areas alligators are known to inhabit. Never feed alligators--in most cases the attacking alligator had been fed by humans prior to an attack

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

I have been slacking on my promise to post survival tips. I am sorry if any of you were in peril and could have been helped by today's tip. Shame on me.

Escaping from Bondage
Upper Torso Bonds:
1. When your captors start binding you, take a deep breath, puff out your chest, and pull your shoulders back.
2. Flex your arms against the bonds.
3. When your captors are away, suck in your chest and stomach.
4. Try to wiggle free with the extra room you have given yourself.

Leg and Ankle Bonds:
1. While being bound, flex your thighs, knees, calves, and ankles against the bonds.
2. If being bound at the ankles, force them apart by bracing your toes and knees together. Use the same technique if your wrists are being bound.
3. If being bound at the thighs and calves, force them apart by keeping your thighs together and your legs turned slightly outward.
4. Free yourself by relaxing your legs and working the bonds down.
5. Try to use your hands, even if they are bound.

*Tip: Even a small amount of slack can allow you enough room to work free of your bonds. Usually, you can get even more room by bracing against the rope. A long rope that is wrapped around you offers more hope of escape than short bonds tied at key points. Try to work the rope loose where bonds overlap.

(So make sure to ask your captors nicely if they wouldn't mind tying you up with a long rope.)

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Charisma Carpenter will be posing for Playboy. She started on Buffy, then switched to Angel. She became pregnant last year, and they wrote that into the storyline by having her give birth to a demon then going into a mystical coma. I will be purchasing the magazine for the first time.

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Reasons why everyone should buy stock in Sirius Satellite Radio Inc.

The future is satellite radio. Currently the FCC is stomping all over the constitution. Freedom of speech, anyone? Yes, there are rules and guidelines. But those are not being broken. And people have FREE WILL for cryin' out loud. They have the ability to change the station if they don't like what they hear.

Satellite radio is not controlled the way regular radio is. Yes, you have to purchase the equiptment and pay a monthy fee ($13), but it's the same concept as HBO. It's the cable of radio.

I think people will want their freedom. Jump on the bandwagon now. The industry currently has about 2 million listeners. By the end of the decade, they are estimating there will be around 25 million subscribers. Buy now. Sirius is only around $3/share. There is another satellite radio company, XM. However, Clearchannel owns many shares, and I'm boycotting Clearchannel. Follow me.

Sirius Black is Harry Potter's godfather.

Saturday, March 13, 2004

For Christmas my mom got me this weekly calendar. It's called "The Worst-Case Scenario 2004 Survival Calendar", and it cracks me up. We're already three months into the year, but I've decided to post the current week's survival guide every Monday. Here are the things you've missed:

How to survive a runaway sled
How to build a shelter in the snow
How to escape from a bear
How to drive in a blizzard
How to jump from a bridge or cliff into a river
How to put out a brush fire
How to sober up fast
How to escape from a car hanging over a cliff

So far, these have been extremely helpful seeing as I live in the desert. No snow, no bears, no cliffs, no woods. But skipping ahead, the mountain lion one may be good to know.

This week's tip is How to treat a blister.
1. Cover the blister with a bandage. If you do not have a bandage, you can fashion one with a tissue and a piece of adhesive tape.
2. If the blister is large and swollen, prepare to pop it. Use alcohol or the flame from a match or a lighter to sterilize a needle. Hold the needle in the flame for at least ten seconds.
3. Pierce the blister with the needle. Hold the needle parallel to the surface of the skin. Puncture the blister near the edge to make draining easier.
4. Drain the fluid. Gently apply pressure to squeeze out the fluid. Dispose of the needle in a sturdy plastic or metal box so that it does not accidentally prick anyone else.
5. Bandage the sore immediately. If you have antibiotic cream, use it.
6. Watch for signs of infection. These include redness, swelling, pain, discharge, and fever. If you have these symptoms, get to a health-care professional.
*Tip: Blisters are caused when the skin rubs against another surface, causing friction. Wearing sport-specific shoes, gloves, or applying a thin layer of petroleum jelly are all ways to prevent blisters from forming.

Stay tuned for more. P.S. She got me a card game to go along with it. Yeah.

Saturday, March 06, 2004

Well, three weeks until the next OC episode. Anna is officially gone, in case some of you think she may come back. She's starring in a pilot next season. I'm not even going to get into how upset I am about the cancellation of Angel.