Someone found my blog by searching yahoo for "how much does poop weigh". Now THAT is hilarious.

Tonight I supported my funny friends by watching the L3 show. It was SO HYSTERICAL!!! I currently hurt in all of my laughing places. And there were no notes afterwards, which meant I got to go home early. Which is good because I have to BE at work tomorrow at 6:30 AM. Which means I have to LEAVE for work at 6 AM. YUCK. I'm all about CAPS and WHICH tonight.

Also, as we were standing outside after the show, Kim (who did awesome at her first performance) said she thought Dave and I should hook up. I said THE GUY I LIVE WITH might have a problem with that. Which is funny becuase she's met Paul and thinks he's cute. P.S. Sorry Michelle. I don't wanna fight. You can have him. I want Ben now. Hey, all those sentences have 4 words. OK, I need to go to beddy-by.

I love that Paul is yelling at the people on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire". He really gets into TV shows. P.S. He knew the answer to the question that the guy got wrong.

Hey, kiddies, I added some peeps to the right. Michelle and Nanna are two hotties from my improv troupe. Go fall in love with them.

Everyday on the way home from work I pass the same signs that make me smile no matter what. The first sign is for Childtime, a child daycare center. Right next to the huge Childtime sign is one for Hooters. Boobs and kids. Always funny.

I do not like change. Which is why I would now like to give props to the ameritrade website. A few weeks ago they completely switched their website. All new graphics, colors, pages, etc. But they have a button in the top right corner that says "go to old website".

Dear Ameritrade,
Thank you to catering to the freaks of the world who tremble in the face of progress.

Yours truly,
a stubborn client

Change is highly overrated.

You scored as Posion. Your death will be by poison, probably because you are a glutton and are around so many people that it would be easy to get away with it. Posion 80% Bomb 67% Eaten 67% Gunshot 53% Drowning 53% Accident 53% Cut Throat 47% Suicide 40% Stabbed 33% Suffocated 33% Dissapear 20% Disease 13% Electric Chair 0% How Will You Die?? created with QuizFarm.com

P.S. I think I have whip-lash from dancing last night. My neck is KILLING me.

Holy No Sleep, Batman. I am running on empty. Thursday I went to see the L3 JesterZ show and a few of us went out afterwards. I'm not a drinker, but it was way past my bedtime. I got home around midnight and Paul called. He was out with work friends and wanted me to come get him. Which would have meant me driving to Chandler to pick him up, Tempe to get his car, then back to Phoenix for bed. Normally when he calls I don't mind being the DD at all. But this was a school night and I had to be up in less than 6 hours. All of that driving would have equalled at least another 1.5 hrs. So I made him stay at his friend's. Friday I got all dolled up to go out with the ladies of the JesterZ. Now, not to sound like a complete lonely loser, but I don't really have that many friends out here. There's one person at work I've hung out with, but now she has a baby (the cutest!) and a family and everything. I love Paul and stuff, but I think it's important to have other friends. To not have your significant other be your sole purpose in life. Plus I love everyone in the JesterZ so much. They remind me of my college friends sans school. So to hang with some awesome ladies was much fun! We went out to dinner then to a resort where we were going to kareoke, something I've never done. Well, I don't count the one song on a cruise ship with my parents. Anyway, the bar was closed, but there was some live music (something latin with those ladies who stomp their feet) and the resort was to-die-for gorgeous. Someone jokingly said we should rent a room and party there some time. I think that is the best idea. They had all these pools with cool little grottos and such. Anyway, we ended up at this bar called the Sandbar. We danced and drank and had a ball. I was on my way home when I realized I forgot to close my tab. See, I was walking a girl out to her car and was planning to go back inside. But I guess everyone was ready to go, so they brough my purse and we left. I have to go back up there tonight and pick up the card before heading off to a JesterZ L4 performance. Paul was going to come with me, but he is at the store cleaning. Which is fine, because I'm becoming good friends with a cool chika named Michelle and she'll be at the show. Then tomorrow we're heading out to my aunt and uncle's place b/c my parents are in town for a week. We're going to have brunch then watch a baseball game. Needless to say, I will not be out late tonight. I am hella tired and have a long day tomorrow.

Oh, I almost forgot. I have officially finished Alias! I have been watching the first three years on DVD from Netflix (the greatest invention on the planet), and today I watched the last episode of Season 3. Now I can start tackling the 12 weeks I've saved on TiVo (the second greatest invention on the planet).

Two more things. One: I got to play air hockey last night!!! I haven't played since Skateworld in the 8th grade. I beat Tom and Dave (because I am the best and super-competitive). It was much more fun to play Tom. We used two pucks at once, which is really hard. My martini and double shot of rum did not help. Two: I love Tom. He's an L4 I got to know a little last night. I'd like to hang out with him more. I remember he did a skit when I first started and mentioned Linux. I laughed and he said he liked me since I knew what that was. Also, he did a killer impression of a humming bird. I think I may kidnap him and keep him in my closet.

For real, this is the last thing. I have to head to Scottsdale to get my stupid card if I want to make the show. I looked all cute last night with my new pants, new purse, and drag-queen shoes (which turned my right pinky toe into a ginormous blister). We went to the theater to drop off leftovers and I had to pee. The bathroom is in the back and the guys were still getting notes up front. Brandy said when I walked out of the bathroom over to where the girls were in the corner, everyone watched me. Which was a fun ego boost since most of the time I feel very non-sexy 'cause I'm such a dork.

1. A teaser for the movie is up and running. The very first scene where a vampire is walking out of some trees...well I'm in that. You don't see it in the teaser b/c I'm, like, the last one to come out. But I will eventually be there. It's neat to see other scenes from it seeing as I haven't even read the script and I have no idea about the plot. But the stunt guys were amazing and the special effects & make up look great. So it should be cool.

2. The voice of Smurfette is a voice in Robots. I wanted to see that film anyway, but now I'm definitely not missing it.

3. My director who I'm secretly in love with and his girlfriend broke up over the weekend. Phase One of "Seduce and Capture Dave" is complete.

Today is the best of all days. In the morning I walked in to work with an ex-sup of mine. We talked about the JesterZ and I mentioned my parents were coming to town at the end of this month. I didn't want that show to be my first out of pity. I wanted to earn my spot and have Dave feel confident in my abilities. Well, two hours later I got an email letting me know that Thursday will be my first show. Woohoo! Then I come home and in the mail is a letter from Bob Garvin. He is perhaps the coolest, craziest old man I know. He's a friend of Tosha's, and she brought him to all of the theater stuff in college (that's how we met). He's kept in touch with me over the years, sending letters now and again. It's so great to hear from him! I will now publish exerpts of my favorite parts from this letter with comments from me. P.S. He types it on a typewriter. Not a computer. So there are lots of pen-corrections. I will include the corrections, but if there is a typo that remains, I'm writing that verbatum. Oh, and before I get started, the envelope was addressed to "Mademoiselle Ashley Nugent"

"...all the Nugents arein my payers (tho I dont know how much influence a permanently lapsed Catholic would have in the upper regions but what the hell we can always hope)"
***I like how he talked about prayers (or "payers") and then said "what the hell" in the same breath.

"...it slips my mind at the moment. zms Natasha had gone from one play to another..."
***I have yet to figure out what "zms" means. The next sentence is a completely new thought, so it's not like "zms" was a connecting word or anything.

"Just ignore this rambling, I was up entirely too late last night --maybe if Id had a couple of snorts it would have been better."
***I'm sorry, but did he just refer to doing coke!?! Holy crap, Bob, you're 70!

***Comment before his writing. This is my favorite part of the entire two page single spaced typed letter.
"...They would have done it this month but were totally taken up with some effing teen beauty pageant, _"
***He literally typed "effing", plus I like his random underscore.

"If you are doing to be in thearea for gods sake let Natasha know..."
***Maybe that's only funny to me, because I can hear Bob saying "for gods sake" while holding a cig and a scotch.

***He signed in pen and wrote a P.S.
"Please excuse the typos! No correction tape!"

I loves me some Bob G.

Then I check my email and I have a message from my friend, Libby, who I used to work with at the camera store! Every time I hear a Rob Zombie song I think of her. And wonder what her hair looks like. I also wonder if Tape Dog still exists.

Then I checked the IMDB, and they had a great quote from Boy George about how he hates "Queer Eye":
"My life is about much more than what my cushions are like or what theatre show I should go to. It's really poncey. I just think that they should leave straight people alone, they look fine."
***I like "poncey" and "they look fine".

So today was the best day.

Paul got the new Tiger Woods game. He is in front of the TV cursing at his player. That's great. Wanna know what else is great? My director for L3 Jesterz. I am secretly in love with him. Here is a sample of his humor via an email:

Subject: 2 things I forgot.
Message:
1. I am without a cell phone today.

2. I do not know what we will be covering today in rehearsal, but I will let you all know as soon as that is figured out.

bonus things I forgot:

3. Michelle is no longer welcome.

4. # 3 was just a joke.

5. #'s 3 & 4 were unecessary.

6. So was #5

7. Actually 3-7 were.

8. There is no number 8.

9. Number 7 was a fake 9.





(in the background as I am typing this: "You've got to be f*ing kidding me. There's no way. Mother F*er." This is almost as funny as football season. Oh, it's like a gaggle of sailors hang out in our living room.)

Curse the Girl Scouts! I have eaten so many cookies in the past two days that my poop smells like Thin Mints. Ugh!