Today's headline on msn.com:

"New Marriage Odds. Single & a Woman? Your real chances of finding a mate past 30"

To that, I must say: whatever!

I randomly had a conversation with my folks on Sunday about this stuff. I thanked them for never putting any pressure on me to get married or have kids. Paul and I were together for almost three years, and the most they ever did was joke about it. "$10,000 to the first one who can give me a granddaughter." My friends from h.s. are all married/divorced, and most w/ kids. Yet, my folks never pressed me about it. And for that, I'm grateful. And told them so.

They're happy I'm happy. I mean, don't get me wrong...if I meet the right guy and have a family, it's not like my folks will be all pissed off. In fact, they'd probably move out here to be closer. But for now, they know I'm doing what I need to in my life. They're excited for where I am and where I'm going. They support whatever decisions I make.

So, screw the odds. Don't let anyone make you feel bad that you're single. Don't get depressed because some college somewhere decided that you will be a spinster. Be happy with who you are. And please, whatever you do, don't settle. Lindsay almost did, and I'm so glad that didn't work out. Because now she has a wonderful man in her life, who she will probably be moving back to AZ for in a few months. She's never been happier, and it sounds like she's ready to make a commitment to him.

Dangit. I just realized I'm going to lose $10,000 to my kid sister. Hmmm...this once I will let my competitive nature slide.

:-)

Take that!

To make up for my wussy bedtime Friday night, I didn't go to sleep at all Saturday night. After watching Ben at the JesterZ, I was called out for Drunken Cereal Night.

Monday consisted of KsomeA rehearsal, followed by a Remainders rehearsal. We did this society exercise that was so neat! No way to explain it. But I got really into it. And the part of me that *wasn't* doing the exercise realized just how deep into this I was committed. No way to describe it.

Then people came over for Memorial Day Fun.

Rules of Gay Volleyball:

1. Do not keep score.
2. If the ball bounces once, but it is a good bounce, the ball is considered "live".
3. If turning it into a drinking game, have your drink at the top of the hill and run up to have some in between volleys.
4. Give up after you get tired.

and most importantly...

5. You must use the gay volleyball.

P.S. It is 9:15 on a Friday night and I am going to bed.

egads

Wow, so this really spoke to me.

Big Mistake

I knew I wasn't going to be able to eat dinner tonight, so I had a huge lunch. Pizza Hut pizza and breadsticks. Which makes me super thirsty, but then all that bread expands. I now look and feel like a bloated sea cow.

For the record, I need to be at work in 6 hours. But I found this on the web, and laughed and laughed. The still shots of the Waffle Escapade are here. But this is the video. Aaahhh....I am the happiest.

Tonight was AWESOME! First, Michelle called me to see if I wanted to go out to a SUPER nice Italian place, for free! Hello, do you even have to ask? I had the *best* long island ever. And our bill (for the two of us--only one drink each) was like $117. But since she has a kick ass job, it was on the house. Wish I carried cash for a nicer tip than what we left. But it was FanTasTic and I have yummy leftovers.




Said Long Island. And new hair!


This is Michelle in her Donatella pose.

Then Cassy and I went to Martini Ranch to see Big Japan, whose drummer is none other than Adam Brody. We had much fun. Actually, the first opening band, Big City Rock, was GREAT! I am actually going to buy some of their music. But mainly they were wonderful performers. The lead singer had beautiful teeth, the keyboardist had an awesome 1982 synthesizer and a mop of curly hair, the drummer was way into it and very entertaining, the other guitarist was all serious and stuff, and the bassist was lip syncing and dancing crazy. They were way fun. I will probably go see them again when they come back this way in July. Live music is terrific!


This is the lead singer for Big City Rock. See how his teeth are all straight'n'stuff?


This is me and Cassy.

Dear Today,
Fine, you win.
Love,
Ashley


So, sometimes I take a step back and can't believe the wonderful things that are going on. I bought my NY tickets yesterday. Then got a myspace message from an old college friend who asked if I was going to the LA Improv Fest. Sure! Why not? So I have a place to stay. (p.s. but i don't want to drive alone, so if anyone wants to be my car buddy, let me know. you will have to get your own place to sleep, however.) Tomorrow is another K Some A rehearsal. Tonight I'm going to see Big Japan (Adam Brody's band) with Cassy because we are 12. This weekend the Remainders are coming over for Memorial Day Fun. Plus rehearsal. The Tommys are starting rehearsal the 1st week of June. Then it's my trip to Vegas to watch more Cirque. Then New York. Then maybe Hawaii and Austin. I was just complaining about wanting to buy a house. Now, all of my money this year is budgeted towards trips and classes. My telecommuting training is going really well. Everything is just so disgustingly great.

I talked with Faith for a while last night. I love living with her. We are both very good for each other. She helps keep me sane. And vice versa. See, I feel like I don't deserve all of this wonderfulness. And that I'm going to do something to horribly mess it up. I'm not taking it for granted, and I'm trying to be appreciative of what I have. I tend to want more, even when things are going great. Like, I want to be working from home NOW and I want to take IO classes NOW.

Patience.

This is my greatest struggle.

on a more realistic note...

zha is most likely moving to Queens very soon. The last time I saw him was (ironically enough) a year ago at the LA improv fest. This year he will be in Queens (most likely) in a few weeks. So not only do I have a free place to crash (hooray!), but I also get to see my best friend! Today couldn't get any better!

Dear Today,
I double-dog-dare you to get better.
Love,
Ashley

My neverending quest to actually meet Jack McBrayer has taken a critical step forward. I will be attending the Del Close Marathon as a bodyguard for Galapagos. Last year (or maybe the year before) Jose shook his fists several times at JM. I am hoping this year Jack will be attending.

Wish me luck.

Tonight was my first taste of long form. I've done a couple of invocation exercises before, but we really hit them hard at rehearsal. I'm excited to continue learning about it. I started learning short form at the Jester'z about a year and a half ago. I remember asking people what long form was, and never got a satisfying answer. I understand it now. It's much more fulfilling than short form, but that's just a personal preference. I think it has to do with my theater background.

Oh, and we invoked Darin Webb. It was wonderful.

One month from today we will be in Vegas watching Cirque!!!
---
I'm ready to own a home. I spent an hour yesterday drilling various holes in my stupid apartment wall trying to install black out and regular curtains. But the walls are too soft, so nothing would hold. Which includes my beautiful towel rack I was so proud of. Which means my huge picture-that-i-love will be too heavy for the living room. Which means I need to buy putty to put in the holes I drilled. Which brings me to my fear of commitment.

I still have OH license plates/driver's license. Because I thought I would've left AZ by now. And Faith and I are going to take a class at IO West once/week when I start telecommuting. Ben is living out there, taking classes w/ UCB and 2nd City. And I think once I start the classes, I'll want to move there and do it full time. Which is frustrating. I'm never satisfied and always thinking about the future. In June I start my first longform class w/ Bill/Jose. Tonight I have Remainders rehearsal. Let's just focus on that.

I want it all and I want it now. I'm trying very hard to be patient/learn patience. But I'm failing miserably. I want it to be August already. B/c that's when it looks like we're going to Los Angeles and Austin. And that's probably when I'll be working from home. I'm ready to travel and learn more. It's just that I'm so into this and I want to soak up as much knowledge/experience that I can. I want to completely immerse myself in improv.

Which is making me not realize what I have in front of me. Ken and I are going to do a show rooted in emotions. It is going to be awesome. Tommys Cannon and Shaeffer and I might be opening for Apollo 12 at some point this summer. The Remainders are continuing to grow and learn. Things are really wonderful right now.

I guess I just needed to read that in print to remind me.
---
this post is brought to you by the forward/slash.

FYI:

Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap is apparently a good lullaby.

____
I could have done without the armful of drool.

my new power drill makes me incredibly happy. i went to home depot tonight b/c i needed a 1/4 inch drill bit to install my towel rack. it is now installed and beautiful!

something else that makes me incredibly happy: michelle!!! she is signing up for an LA Fitness membership. we are going to take classes together and make fun of people. very exciting!

today i had the healthiest salad i've ever eaten in my whole life. no dressing. just fruit, spinach, oats w/ a touch of cinnamon, and a tad bit of yogurt. it was delish. followed by several cookie bites from paradise bakery.

cookies also make me incredibly happy.

Last night was the first "rehearsal" for K some A. I use the term loosely b/c mainly Bill, Ken, and I talked about what we wanted to do, what our goals were, and how we were going to accomplish them. Bill is serving as our advisor of sorts. I came straight there from my hair appointment, thinking I was going to be late b/c of traffic, but was actually able to make it much faster. We all admired my new hair. Then we discussed goals for an hour or so. There was a silence, and I said, "I cut my hair." Ken and Bill looked at each other with sad eyes. "Uh, didn't you forget something in your car that you should go and get and feel free to take your time."

Sure.

Freaks.

When I came back, this is what I saw:




I love my friends!! They are so weird.

People fascinate me. And I tend to stare. This is all well and good in sunglasses. The objects of my viewing pleasure don't know that I'm watching, so there is little uncomfortableness. But I forget that my regular glasses are not sunglasses. So today when I was getting my oil changed, I kept looking at the hands of the guy who was helping me. They were so cracked and dirty and beautiful. I couldn't stop staring. Then I felt bad that I wasn't looking him in the eyes as he was going over my service. Which only made me more fixated. Oh, well. He wasn't exactly looking me in the eyes, either.

Today I walked around my complex. I really like it here. We are right by the pool and tennis and sand volleyball courts. And there are hummingbirds everywhere, which are my favorite. I might even get a hummingbird feeder to go out on our balcony.

I don't think any more unpacking will happen until Saturday morning. I'm on my way to Tempe to drop off some marykay stuff. then i might come home and go to bed. Tomorrow and Friday I have rehearsal, haircut, and Remainders finances to deal with. I've been averaging about 5 hours of sleep for a while now. Just now I talked to my birthmom for about 20 minutes while lying on my floor. Then proceeded to nap for another 20 minutes when we hung up. Early bed time tonight is up my ally. But first...dinner.

It's not so bad.

The color evened out overnight. It's magic like that. I'm getting it cut tomorrow. So much for waiting a few months and getting new headshots. Once I make up my mind about something, I can't wait. (See: breakup with Paul, April, 2005.) I don't go on enough auditions anyway for it to make too big of a difference. I'm scared. But excited.

Oh, in other, equally exciting news, I now have a path cleared from my room to the bathroom! You no longer have to leap over three boxes. Also, my dresser is put together and full of clothes, and my closet is getting organized. Tonight is oil change and more unpacking. Plus some marykay business. (for those of you keeping a spreadsheet on my goings on)

K some A has our first rehearsal tomorrow night. Then we all go to yoga together. This will be fun!

Oh my

This will take some getting used to. A few months ago I dyed my hair dark mohogany. It looked really good. And then it sort of faded out. And I thought it was completely gone. I was sorely mistaken. Tonight I attempted to dye my hair a dark auburn. But there's about an inch an a half of red root, then a head full of brown w/ a tint of red. Should look interesting in the light tomorrow.

Yikes!

One of my favorite monologues from a movie (though it's short):

America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You've got to want it bad, because it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say, "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil who is standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours. You want to claim this land as the 'land of the free'? Then the symbol of your country cannot just be a flag. The symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Now show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then you can stand up and sing about the 'land of the free.'"

Andrew Shepherd
(Michael Douglas)
An American President
1995

It is raining. I love rain in Arizona. I realize I post this same thing every time it rains (which, to be fair, is about 8 times a year), but it is still a true statement.

I think I'm going to change my hair color today.

One of the things I was going to miss about my old place is that the kitchen faced the pool. So on lazy Saturday mornings (which, okay, I had like two of), I would eat my breakfast and enjoy the view of the hot guys swimming. At my new place, my bedroom window overlooks the pool. And there are hot guys. Sigh...I think I'm gonna like it here.

I'm back!!!

And I have internet access again!!!

So the move has sucked. I can't take any vacation days b/c I'm saving them for my trip to Vegas and some future Remainders travelling. Which means each day I take a load from Tempe to North Phoenix. Faith and I spend all day yesterday cleaning, then two hours after work today. See, our old place was a condo owned by a friend of hers from church. No deposit was needed. So we cleaned the place like our lives depended on it. And now everything I own is in a box for me to step on/trip over/curse at. My computer desk is up and put together. My dresser is almost completed. I love IKEA because I love to put things together. That's where my bed, dresser, and desk came from. When I get a big girl house, I think all of my stuff will come from that place. Good quality, yet inexpensive. My two favorites.

I haven't really had much time to sleep since I've been so busy, but that's all good. Tomorrow I'm getting my oil changed, and will spend at least four hours unpacking and organizing. Thursday K some A has our first rehearsal. CAN'T WAIT FOR THAT!!! Next week I will have my life back to normal. And an hour and a half added to my day since I'm much closer to work. Which means: LA Fitness, here I come! I am so excited to have time to exercise again! I'm going to give it three months, then see how my knees are doing. I'm going to do most of the strengthening stuff I learned in rehab, then see a specialist again to discuss surgery. Hopefully the stronger leg muscles will be enough.

Speaking of surgery, I'm also going to consider a reduction. If I lose 7% body fat, I will be at my personal ideal goal. The thought of elective cosmetic surgery is a turn off to me, but I can't stand my knockers anymore. I was such a tomboy growing up and they've always been in the way. It is hard to play tetherball with an underwire poking you. It's hard to be the new kid in school and the only third grader wearing a bra. My new job will allow me the money and time to do such a thing. This is a huge deal, and I'm not going to rush into anything. Also, by losing 7% body fat, I will be losing boob, so this may be moot point. We'll see where everything is in a few months.

OK, so...wow. Now y'all know about my rack.

A note to leave you on: We had a Remainders show in Casa Grande. It went very well. We're going to be going back. And they will pay us. Here is a shot of the marquee.



TOTALLY AWESOME!!!

Evil Car Wash

OK, so a few month ago I went to a manual car wash because my name is Stingy McStingerson and I am cheap. Why spend $7 getting it washed by machines when you can spend a buck-seventy-five doing it yourself? This is my train of thought. So I put two dollars into the token machine and am immediately annoyed. It's $1.75. I now have a twenty-five cent token that I need to use. Hmm. So I put in the 7 tokens and I get 3 minutes and 30 seconds. I am furiously washing my car, but, alas, my time runs out. Now I have to put two more dollars in to continue with the soaping and scrubbing. Then my time runs low, so I put in some more change. I am up to $5.75 and sweaty and annoyed. I could have put that into the machine and had it all done for me whilst enjoying my lovely air conditioning.

I have a token left over. This I vow to use again. Because as I was finishing with the pressure washer(the only good thing about the ordeal), I notice a stop button. So my deductive reasoning says, "Hey, I bet next time if you turn the knob to stop, your time will freeze and you will truly only spend $1.75." So I decide to give it another go.

Well, after one weekend driving to Coachella, and the next to Sedona, my car is covered in bug guts. I go to the car wash; old token in hand. I make change, and come back to my station. I leisurely spray my car first with water, then switch it to soap. Then I move the switch to "off". Well, the water stops shooting out of the hose, but my time sure keeps going. WHAT?!! YOU SONS OF...AARRGGGHHHHH!!

Now I am thoroughly pissed off and am trying to wash my car as fast as possible. I have to put in another two dollars to finish it and rinse. I officially hate this car wash.

The most ironic thing? The sign just says "Car Wash", but it has a little devil in front of it. That is certainly not false advertising.

Who needs exercise when you're moving from a two story condo into an apartment on the second floor?!!

Arrrgh!!! I'm not getting anything done. I'm so tired all I want to do is sleep, but I have to move all my stuff. No time. There is no time. I've taken loads up and down my stairs. Dear knees, I am so sorry. Love, Ashley. I think I will cancel my chiropractor appointments this week so I can get moved in.

On the up side, my mom got her mother's day gift and I'm currently her favorite daughter. *blows raspberry at Lindsay*

Hey, everyone should go become a social insect. zha designed the site. I am only friends with geniuses. :-) Oh, and since it's new, if there's something about the design you think should change or if you have any suggestions or anything, you can email him and let him know.

The Remainders are taking over Casa Grande this weekend!!! Show is at 7:30. The Originals open for us. You should come see it before we get so huge that tickets are impossible to come by and go for, like, a hundred bucks a pop. We are going to rock the hizzouse. Next stop is LA where we will perform at IO West. And perhaps I will meet my beloved. *claps hands*

Hey, Everybody:

If you have access to a truck or suv or large car, I would forever be grateful for some help moving this week. Your reward will be dinner (cooked or purchased--your choice), as well as my charming company. Can't get much better than that.

Anyway, please call or email if you're available any night this week to help move a load of my crap.

Who needs exercise when you have improv?

It was an amazing night. but i am the tiredest of humans. our runthrough lasted 65 minutes...the longest to date. must be up in 5 hours to pack more stuff, go to work, unpack stuff, come back, pack more stuff...

g'nite.

I was tired of my blog looking like a gay easter egg. And blue is my favorite color.

so there.

Quote of the Night

So Cassy and I spent the weekend together. This is the first time since Ethan was born a year and a half ago that she's been away from him, and she needed a distraction. Bradley took him back to Wyoming for his dad's graduation. Friday night we went to Oregano's* and she spent the night. We then got up Saturday morning to drive to Sedona to look for wedding places for her and Bradley. (they did things out of the "traditional" order. Ethan was planned. It took them 10 months to get pregnant. They're not getting married until next April) Sunday morning we went out to breakfast with Steven and Michael and she came to church with me.

But the funniest moment was Friday night. We were laying in bed at 11 o'clock, barely able to keep our eyes open but wanting to finish one last Sudoku puzzle. She looks at me and says, "We are a couple of party animals."

That we are, my friend. That we are.



_____________
*I love introducing people I like to that restaurant. The pazookie is delish, and they have the world's best spinach/artichoke dip if you like garlic.

Felt like a bad ass today. Wore a white undershirt, blue jeans, and favorite boots. Then I spilled cheese on my boob and went to wash it off in the bathroom. Only to realize that water and white t-shirts do not appropriate work attire make. Snuck back to desk, took gulp of water from jug. Proceeded to spill that down my leg.

Oy. You can't take me anywhere.

I love Leah Long.

The End.

Dear H-town:

It's 3 a.m. at 5 o'clock.

Love,
ac

Me and Bill and Nanna are going to see a special preview of Love at The Mirage in Vegas on June 22. After the circus, we get to give notes to the creative team and cast to help shape the show.

I CAN'T WAIT!!!!

The Remainders didn't really have rehearsal last night. It was more of a check-in-for-two-hours situation. We talked about what's been going on and where we want to be and how we want to move forward. This whole experiment started last August(ish) just to learn musical improv and take it back to our respective troupes. But then we liked it and each other. So we formed a troupe. And we're getting really good. We've had vocal work, and it sounds like dance is up next. Depending on how our CG show goes, we might have a place where we can do regular shows. Plus, freaking IO West has invited us to come out. And it looks like we might go to Austin for Out of Bounds. And who knows what else!?! But we're all committed to it and to each other. I'm so excited about EVERYTHING!

I hope I have time to horseback ride in Austin. I hope they have horseback riding in Austin.

what do you want?

Why I love Coldtowne Heroes

It was originally a troupe of 8. They had talked about applying to festivals, but they all had jobs and lives and stuff. Then Hurricane Katrina hit and they were scattered. Five ended up in Texas, and eventually Austin. Now they are doing improv full time.

The past few weeks have been filled with re-evaluation of what's important to me and what I want to do. I look at Coldtowne and they are this amazing troupe with great connection, fabulous group mind, and full-blown trust. If you have that, why would you leave? Secretly, I was hoping my move to LA wouldn't work out so I could come back to PHX. Because I didn't want to leave The Remainders. The more I thought about it, the bigger of a red flag that was. If I don't want to leave, then why am I? And (I said this last year to a few people) I believe 2006 is going to be a huge year for improv in Phoenix. And I want to be a part of it. I already was with PIF 5. Now The Remainders are going to take over Casa Grande! We've talked more about touring. There's a festival in Austin we're going to apply for. IO West wants us to do a show! I mean, this is it!

So, who knows what will happen. But I don't have to move to LA to prove anything to myself or anyone else. I'm happy where I am. I'm doing what I love with people I love. You can't get much better than that.