Thursdays = rehearsal for Latchkey Kids from 4-6 and my last level 5 class from 7-10. Dave Hill is our coach for the Kids, and he was running a little late b/c of an audition. Today it was just me, Hannah, Laura, and Eric. We warmed up and when Dave got there around 4:15, we sat down and started talking about the direction to take this team. All of the sudden there was this incredibly long screech of tires. It was long enough for all of us to look at each other and wonder if this was going to end in a crash. Oh yeah, it did. It was this horrific breakage of glass and car. We stuck our heads out the window, but all we could see was Cosmo, which was pretty empty. We saw a few people running towards Hollywood Boulevard. We could hear people yelling for the cops and for an ambulance. We all just looked at each other with these stunned faces. It seemed to be under control. We stumbled back to our seats and there was this weird silence. I mean, obviously, something horrible had happened, but we were going to go back to rehearsal. Then someone started running through iO yelling for everyone to evacuate the building immediately. (I left behind my favorite pen. How sad.)

When we got outside, there was a huge crowd of people at the front of iO. An SUV had smashed through the front window into the bar. What we gathered was that the driver fled but the passenger was still there. No one was hurt. Not one person, and this is a high-traffic pedestrian area. The bar was empty. Had it been a couple of hours later, there would have been a ton more people around. James Grace and Eric Hunicutt were there, handing everything. Poor guys. They totally kept their cool the whole time. I'm imagining they're in shock. I took a couple of crappy pictures with my phone, but Schackne got some better ones.

So, that's basically it. No mainstage shows for a while. Someone asked me if I was upset. I don't know how to describe how I felt. It was all so surreal. I mean, iO is my second home; I almost feel violated. I have been there every night for the past week for rehearsals or performances or to watch my friends. And now it's going to be closed for a while. No one knows what's going to happen with classes or shows. I'm in 3 different troupes that were going to perform there. I was in the 4 person tournament. Everything is up in the air. It's a weird day.

I have been Crazy Hyper Girl the past week. My night-time energy is through the roof, but I'm still up by seven, and it hit me this morning as to why. My gym-time is non-existent. When I was getting in three 2-hour work outs a week, I was pretty tired in the evening. The past week I haven't been going to bed before 2, and it's only because I'm forcing myself to lie there. So, starting tomorrow (because I have rehearsal and class today and have to get a few hours of work in at some point), I'm going to make an effort to gym-i-fy myself again.

I gotta do something to take the edge off. I'm starting to annoy myself.

In a valiant effort to avoid work, I am instead answering old emails which have been sitting in my inbox for a while and doing laundry.

Feel free to update your blogs to further my quest for laziness.

One of the last things Buol said to me before he moved back to OH was that I need more girl friends. Most of my friends are guys. Probably 90%. A big part of that is just that there are more guys than girls in improv. But lately I've been making more girl friends, which has been nice. A couple of nights ago I met Jennifer, who was wearing this cute little red polka dot dress at iO. Not fancy, just summery. I own 2 dresses, and they are for special occasions. So I decided to buy a casual dress.

Yesterday I went out to lunch and shopping with Stephanie. I wore one of my two skirts (mainly because it was so hot and my shorts are too short for the current squish of my legs and jeans were out of the question). Steph was wearing a dress. I don't normally feel very feminine. I normally feel like one of the guys. But it was fun to look nice. We went shopping and I found a great khaki dress that I'm going to wear tomorrow night to Ben's sketch show. It buttons up, so I had to get a tank to go under, since my boobs are too big for the buttons and they didn't have the next size up, so I would've had to go 2 sizes, and then it just looked frumpy. Long story long, it looks incredibly cute.

I called Faith to tell her I bought a dress. She cheered. I stumbled in at 2 last night and was going to take my purchase upstairs, but I didn't see it. I figured Faith took it upstairs and threw it in my room. I went immediately to sleep, but when I woke up today, I still couldn't find it. I knocked on her door.

"Hey, do you know where my NY&Co bag is?"

Her eyes bulged and she bolted down the stairs yelling, "OHMYGOD I THREW IT AWAY WHEN I WAS CLEANING UP LAST NIGHT!" I had to get dressed as I was in my work clothes (aka: pjs), and she was already half way in the dumpster by the time I got there. I had never been more happy that it wasn't garbage day in my whole life. My bag was there - a little buried and smelly, but everything was in tact. I will be doing laundry here in a minute.

What a comedy of errors!

The boundless energy of children amazes me. Was I like that when I was 6? Yeah. I remember riding my big wheel with my best friend Matt Hand. I remember the park at the end of our street where we would have adventures. I remember summers of swimming and soccer and softball and running around outside. I remember hitting a tennis ball against our chimney for hours. I remember running the length of our lawn back and forth, racing the neighbors' dogs. We had a tetherball pole, monkeybar swing set, and basketball hoop at our house.

But then you grow up and slow down. Being around Asha the past few days has both worn me out and revitalized me. We were watching a movie last night and she wouldn't sit still. So I dared her to run up and down the stairs 10 times. After 8, she decided to start over. Then she shows us her karate moves and did flips on the bed we have downstairs. Then she did 10 boy push ups--with good form, I might add. This was after an afternoon of swimming and singing. The girl does not stop.

Ah, to be six again. To climb on people and be swung around. To see the ocean for the first time. The biggest decision of the day is whether to paint or play with dolls. But then you combine both and make paintings for your dolls. To love everyone and everything because there are no consequences. And at the end of the day, to completely crash and have the deepest, soundest sleep you'll ever have.

I am an old lady. Yesterday ended up being me, Kyle, Guetig, and Sara. Sara is Jim Gaffigan pale, so she stayed out of the water. The boys and I had fun body surfing. This was all well and good until the ocean decided to bitch-slap me and Guetig. It drug him across the sand hard enough to take off a layer of skin on his shoulder. For me, it slammed me down face-first and then flipped my feet over my head. In a way I do not bend. Guetig and I crawled out of the ocean and whimpered our way to the towels. Other than that, we all had a ton of fun.

But today I'm moving like I'm 70. My back and neck are killing me. Not to self: do more yoga. That way, when the ocean decides to be a big jerk, I can handle it.

Dear Government,

Please don't sent me a letter telling me I'll be getting my stimulus check in 6 weeks. Just send me the damn check. There are plenty of reasons why the national deficit is so high. I give you Exhibit A.

The Cool Kids

Today I am hanging with my Informant buddies. At the beach! It's the first time this year I've been, and I'm really looking forward to it. Sadly, half can't be there. Jenn and Jad are working, and DcapitalAnna is out of town. Kyle is not sure and I never heard back from Emma, so it may only be me, Sara, and Guetig. Either way, I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone!

Asha, Charity, and Faith's mom are in town for Asha's 6th birthday. They have Disney season passes, so they're spending all of today and tomorrow at the park. It's hectic to have them here, and the place is trashed, but I really love those guys so it all evens out. There's nothing like the complete honest love of a child to make your day. She'll draw me pictures or write me notes on my mirror (in dry erase marker). It's been really fun to watch her grow up the past few years. I remember her 4th birthday where she had a pinata. On of her friends kept missing it, but Asha was on the sidelines cheering. "You can do it, I know you can!" Seriously, she was so encouraging we all couldn't help but laugh.

Happy Birthday, Asha!

A couple of days ago I bought a stranger a drink. It was a girl and it wasn't sexy at all (sorry, jose). It was just a simple fun thing to do. I mean, how often do you buy someone you don't know a drink? Today I got a myspace message from a (different) girl I met last night at iO. It was one of, if not *the*, nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. Karma is real, people. Karma is real.

When I was 17, I worked at Paramount's Kings Island in Cincinnati, OH. I was an usher the first year at the new Nickelodeon Studios. There was an actor by the name of Joey Kern. He was super cute and had a fan club of pre-teens who came to see him almost every day. They knew me by name b/c I was the person who would usually go backstage to get him. He was always very polite and would chat with the girls when he could.

He moved to NY to go to school. It wasn't until Candy recommended Super Troopers that I saw him again. If you've seen it, he's the stoner dude driving the car. It is always exciting to see people you know in movies, and I'm really glad he's had a decent career. I didn't know him very well at PKI, but he was always really nice and very funny.

Well, last night at iO, who do I run into but Joey Kern?!! He was at the bar with two cute girls to watch a friend do a show. What a small ass world we live in.

Nip it in the bud

I am horrible at dating. As a girlfriend, I will rock your world. I'm kind and thoughtful and loyal as all get out, and blah blah blah. But I can't date to save my life.

Remember Character Workshop Crush? Well, the other day was Carla's going away party and I was looking super cute. I didn't know if they were even friends, but I was secretly hoping he would show up so I could show off my hotness and drool over his. And show up he did. But what's even awesomer was the fact that we ended up hanging out a lot of the night. This did not help my crush go away. Besides being funny and talented, which was the crush beginner in class, he's also very smart and incredibly interesting. See, this doesn't happen in my world. Normally I have a crush from afar, we either never speak or I put us in Pal Zone b/c it's easier, and my crush goes away. But this time around we spent some QT together, exchanged numbers, and tentatively made plans to go see a movie tonight. Then I realized I had rehearsal and class, so plans were cancelled.

And I'm not going to pursue it. This will make Faith very sad, as she was thrilled I actually liked someone. She's determined to get me out there whether or not I want to be. But things get complicated and I'm a realist. If Crush and I continued to hang out, and even casually date, there are physical restrictions I'd put on our relationship. Half the fun of dating someone is doin' it, so why bother crossing the friendship line if you know that's not going to be the end result. I was talking with José about it the other day, and he agreed. Not in a bad way, just in a realistic way. So, awesome, I have another friend.

The thing that cracks me up the most about the whole situation is the difference between men and women. A million bucks says he didn't think twice about any of this. I'm just a cute girl he hung out with and we will maybe or maybe not hang out again. Whereas I have already over-analyzed and taken the relationship (which doesn't even exist) from beginning to end. Man, that really is hysterical to me.

It's amazing men and women ever get together at all.

I got two text messages and a myspace comment today from random people I haven't talked to in a while just saying hi and that they miss me. I am the happiest camper!

Stolen from Michelle.

Ashley needs you like water in her lungs.

Ashley looks like a mermaid, a stripper mermaid.

Ashley does a jig. (!)

Ashley hates us, no wait she was just kidding - although we couldn't tell.

Ashley goes dark.

Ashley loves the (literal) apple of her eye.

Ashley eats a spoonful of mustard.

Ashley has the Keys to Success.

Ashley died in the pursuit of excellence.

Ashley won't proceed with Bradco purchase.

Ashley can't stand Mary-Kate.

Ashley wants us to know that she can afford Louis Vuitton.



Google Search taught me:

It sucks to have the first name of a child star, a hooker, and a High School: The Musical singer.

sat in car and talked with jose until my phone died.

awesome way to end night.

love you. miss you.

I have been in a weird time warp the past few days. Friday I woke up thinking it was Saturday and I was missing Maestro rehearsal. Then I fell back asleep. Then woke up again terrified it was Sunday and I was missing Redacted rehearsal. Today I've been working a bit so I can go to the beach one day this week and surf for the first time this year, and although the hours are passing slowly, I'm getting a ton of work done. I usually average 10 claims/hour. Today, in just 30 minutes, I've already done 12 claims. Now I'm worried that I'm making mistakes since I'm going so quickly and my audit for this month will suck. Oh well.

My sister is walking with my dad in the Englewood Forest Preserve right now. Every Sunday morning we used to go on walks there. I have pictures from when I was 5 with my best friend Matt Hand. Back in 2001 I happened back in my old neighborhood and stopped by his old house. His parents still lived there, and his mom told me he was engaged to a girl named Ashley. I wonder if they ever got married.

After our walk, we'd head to Jim's Donuts. AKA The Best Donuts On The Planet. We'd get a half dozen (mom liked glazed, my favorite is the chocolate covered) and have a huge glass of milk and sit down as a family. We almost always ate dinner together, as well. We'd hold hands around the dinner table and each person would tell what they were thankful for that day. If I ever have a family, I want to do that. As an adult, I look back on my childhood and feel pretty damn lucky, and I'd like to be able to pass that along.

So, in that tradition, I'm thankful for my dad. I'm glad Lindz is in OH and able to spend Father's Day with him. I'm thankful he's been so supportive of me (though it took until my senior thesis in college for him to let go of his dream for me to be an engineer! :-p). I'm thankful he's been such an amazing role model and loving father. I'm happy in the moments I make him proud, and I hope to continue doing so.

Dad, I love you. Thanks for being so awesome.

I am really scared and frustrated right now and I have no one to talk to. I don't think I can handle the next year out here. I've never liked LA. I've had several conversations with my parents about why I didn't just move to Austin, and they've been really supportive. But it's 2am their time, so I can't really call them. I'm glad I'm here. I am getting such an amazing education from such amazing people. I'm on, like, 8 different rehearsal teams. I'm going to start UCB later this summer. I am completely saturated. But I'm not a big city person. And the people out here drive me crazy.

But I'm afraid I'm putting too much on the shoulders of Austin. I'm afraid I think my life is going to be all puppies and rainbows when I move out there, but it's really going to be the same. However, the few times I've gone out there, I've just really felt at home. There is a difference between going out for a drink every night after a show or rehearsal or something, and getting completely wasted all the time. That annoys me. I like going out as much as the next guy, but the pace out here is not something I'm into. I couldn't go out much in AZ b/c I was working all the time to set up the job situation I have now. I've hung out with people in Austin. I've partied with people in Austin. That is a pace I can keep up with.

I'm about to sign a year lease with my current roommate and we're adding a second girl. There will be three of us. This is a bad idea. I have all of this pent up frustration that I'm just holding inside because it's easier that way. I remember a guy friend talking about how horrible he is at ending relationships. That once he stayed in one until he moved to another city and was able to use that as the excuse. I'm sort of doing the same thing. But my move isn't for another year. I feel trapped. I'm thrilled that I'm doing this much improv, but it takes time to look for another place. Time that I just don't have at the moment. There's also a whole issue of trying to find another person who needs a roommate, etc. It's just easier to stay where I am. And a part of me feels like it would be impossible to find another roommate. Everyone I know is set in their living situation and I definitely do not want to live with a stranger. And I can't afford to live by myself.

Money.

That's a whole different stress point. Because of minor medical stuff, I have no savings and quite a credit card bill. And with a move coming up, we need a deposit and first month's rent in cash. Plus, the roommate isn't so good with the money management, and that's something I worry about.

Tonight it just all came to a head. One thing I've been struggling with is that I know where I want to be and I know what I want to do. But I'm not doing it. However, I am actively pursuing avenues that I think will help set me up for what I want. Sort of like when I made sacrifices in AZ to set myself up with a fantastic, well-paying job I can keep for the rest of my life. I guess I see LA as that: a sacrifice. I will also have that checked off my To Do list. I won't be 50 and look back on my life and think, "I wonder what it would have been like if..." I've lived here. I know it's not for me. Done.

I guess I just see this next year as having so many headaches and stress that I'm really not looking forward to it. But I don't feel like there's any way around it. I just have to plow through and stay focused.

Today is my first day back at the gym after a doctor-ordered 6 week rest. I FEEL SO GOOD!!! I can't even describe it. I took a yoga class, which made me realize how tight I had become from 6 weeks of doing nothing (a full week I spent in bed and the second week was very little movement), and I did my 45 minute spinning routine. Man, I lost all of my cardio and muscle build from before. But, here I am. Anew.

Don't look back, it only slows you down from going forward.

Sarah Buehler took some amazing headshots of me. Check 'em out. The shots I posted are a combination of what I and my two roommates like. If you're interested in her shooting you, send me an email and I'll give you her contact number.

I got my first SAG voucher and I met some pretty kick ass people. It has been a good past 6 days.