Last week we had another Neutrino show. Go watch!

Why? Because Bob gets calmed down by a police officer and at the end when Michelle slams the door, it locks us all in. The door broke. We had to crawl out one by one through a window that didn't open all the way. Unfortunately we were out of tape and didn't get it on film. But it was good stuff.

I was in José's dream last night. Here it is, with his permission:

I also had a dream that involved mouths last night.

Part of it was that we were still at the Trunk Space and you were holding a glass of water.

Being thirsty and letting that thirst fuel my thoughtlessness, I gently grabbed it out of your hand, took a swift sip, and placed it back in your palm.

You
looked
at
me
like
I
had
just
killed
a
McBrayer-kitten
in
front
of
you.

Realizing my mistake, I tried reasoning with you and tried explaining that you could drink from the other side of the glass and how since it was a quick sip that there probably wasn't any backwash--

and then, with steely determination in your eyes

you proceeded to lick my face.

My mouth is part of my face.

So, you licked that, too,

in the most clinical, mechanical way as possible.

Believe me, it was not sexy.

When you stopped -- because this literal tonguelashing happened in the time that it takes for a lightning strike to become a wildfire -- you looked at me

and you screamed like you had seen a ghost!

Not knowing what to do, I screamed, too!

When our burst of screaming stopped, you looked at me and said,

"I'm trying to get over my fear of spit."

Then, you just walked away.

Well, I now know that my car can go 498.2 miles on one tank of gas before it refuses to start. Luckily I have fake emergency gas to get me to Shell tonight.

I forgot my water bottle this morning. So I had to buy an overpriced bottle from the ridiculously expensive café downstairs.

My ipod has about an hour of juice left. Which means I'm going to have to listen to Heavy NoseBreathing Complainer for 7 hours.

I can only hope today gets better.

Last night's dream: I hadn't worn my retainers for a while, so my bottom row of teeth were all jacked up. They also had white tips from a bleaching gone awry.

For those of you who know about my obsession with mouths, you understand that this was an anxiety dream.

three spots

three biopsies

one might be scar tissue, but he biopsied to make sure

i'll know more in two weeks.

No motivation.

I have about 30 minutes left at work, and I am beyond my required production for an 8 hour work day. As a telecommuter, the more claims you do, the more you get paid. But here in the office, it's an hourly wage. So I have no desire to do anything for the next 30 minutes. I might add--I hit my production after 6 hours.

Yesterday was a giant leap towards telecommuting. We're probably going over the contract next week. I've only talked about it with a couple of people b/c nothing is definite until I sign the paperwork. But it looks really promising.

Email me. I'm bored.

Does anyone EFFING use their turn signals anymore? Seriously folks! I wish I had a gun so I could shoot cars who don't use their signals. Not to injure anyone, mind you. Just to teach a lesson. I'm convinced people would learn quickly.

So if you are guilty of not using your turn signal and we ever make eye contact (because I will stare you down and mouth "turn signal" at you. well, sometimes i yell and pound on my steering wheel), know that I am shooting you in my head.

*RAGE BLACKOUT*

I wanted to hit 25 claims today. I'm at 28, and I have 45 minutes left, so I figured I'd post. I was a very good, focused girl today. Marlynn talked w/ Tom. He is going to have an answer for me by next week. OK, I'm done thinking about it. Besides, I have a follow up dr. appt Wednesday to see if the precancerous cells are back. So visions of cryosurgery will dance in my head.

A Public Service Announcement

Swimsuit season is fast approaching. Since I plan to surf on a weekly basis, I figured I should start getting into shape for it. So I'm going to swim laps every day after work. As a female, you need to groom your bikini area. There are several different methods to use. The razor, depilatories, and waxing. Now, in my younger years, I tried waxing. That was a horrible, horrible disaster that I've tried oh-so-hard to erase from my memory. Also, I did it myself. Not recommended. Normally I use a razor. The aloe has worked very well for razor burn (thank you, Renée, for that suggestion last summer). However, yesterday I decided to try a depilatory.

The instructions say to test it after 5 minutes; remove after 10; keep on no longer than 15. I kept it on for 10 and tried the suggested washcloth removal. Nothing came off. Well, I thought to myself, I'm sure I can just shave it off, using the depilatory as a sort of shaving cream. I DO NOT recommend this method. I also do not recommend being an idiot, which I clearly am. After the first swipe with the razor blade, it hurt instantly. A normal person would stop. Not I. I figured if I could just stand the pain long enough, everything would be nice and smooth. Nope. Pain is there for a reason. If you put your hand on a hot stove, the nerve endings send pain signals to your brain so you remove your hand from the heat. Do not ignore pain signals. Now, not only do I have razor burn, but I have a nice chemical burn to go on top of that.

Needless to say, I will not be swimming today. The chlorine would not get along with my freshly destroyed skin.

So, please, use EITHER a depilatory OR a razor. NOT both.

*The more you know* **rainbow**

Nap Time

I took a nap today after I got home from breakfast. Well, technically after a two hour phone call w/ Merriman. Thank God for free nights and weekends. I am a sleepy girl. Last night's slumber was cut short, and this morning I was awakened by the lovely Amy. I had to get up anyway to meet mc for breakfast. So I decided to nap for a couple of hours before meeting Michelle for dinner before PIF. zha woke me up from that one, but I needed to get in the shower anyway. Then Michelle calls to cancel tonight. Which made me secretly happy. Not that I didn't want to see you, little lady! Just that I can now play minesweeper and go back to bed for another hour.

Lazy Sunday. There is a lot to be said for a mid afternoon nap.

it was easier when it was just me. adding another person to the mix complicates things. but we had a good talk today, and since it's only for 6 months, she's willing to suffer without a washer/dryer in house.

it's getting close and so many things are up in the air. i'm really scared/nervous/excited/terrified. i tried to look for apartments today--even made a few calls. but because i don't know what my job situation is going to be yet, it got really depressing really fast.

i feel very stagnant in some ways. i know that the upcoming festival will light my fire again. festivals seem to do that. new york, toronto, austin, tucson. each time i came home, i had this renewed improv energy in me. PIF is only 3 weeks away, and I'm taking some awesome workshops. i looked at the IO website, and classes probably won't start up again until july or august. that's fine. it'll give me some time to get settled in.

and i haven't even started thinking about the people i'm going to miss. can you hear it? my heart is breaking right now. i only have a handful of shows left. then it's no more head-butts to hagrid's chest or pinky touches from josé or exact same childhood memories with bill or making michelle purr or jeff and his obscene history knowledge or mack and his dry wit that i love or greg and his inappropriate phrases or shane carey and the fact that just looking at him makes me happy. i listened to his podcast last night and was all smiles.

eff. i just need to get through this next week. then i'll have a better idea of where i stand.

excuse me. i think i'm going to go throw up now. or cry. i'm not sure which.

Upsetting dream last night. I was at my old house, in my old neighborhood, and there were a lot of people around. My dad was mowing the lawn. Some of the details are fuzzy, but I remember knowing that my mom was gone. My dad thought she was at the doctor's because she was sick. But--because of a premonition--I knew that on her way home she'd gotten into a horrible accident. I was crying so hard at the thought of losing my mom and my dad couldn't understand what was wrong. I was trying to tell him when the police called. I ran down Turtleback to the part of the neighborhood where Mem lived. Except I was looking for Foxy Boy. He had been there earlier, and was the only one who believed me.

Then, in real life, my phone wakes me up. It's Foxy Boy. Pulling one of his famous middle-of-the-night-drunk-dials. It was a strange (well, i guess not strange. i don't know. but i felt a little odd talking to him) conversation that ended 1.5 hours later after 3 cell phone disconnects. I should have just gone to work then, since I was up. But I went back to sleep and now I'm dragging hard core and am going to be much later than I thought. Oh well.

I think things are going to be weird in LA. At least for the first little bit. And it's solely going to be my fault. Because as confrontational as I normally am, there are certain types of conversations I try to avoid at all costs.

Where there are two baby spiders, a hundred more siblings are close by.

I moved my bed to the floor this past week because I didn't trust the weight of two people on a loft above my computer equipment. I kept it on the floor the past couple of days because I am lazy. Tonight I wanted to lay down before Neutrino rehearsal because I am tired.

I plopped down, and two baby spiders scampered right across the place where my head belongs. Yes, scampered. In fact, they were practically frollicking. Since I am no longer deathly afraid of spiders, I killed them. Then I spent the next 10 minutes on my hands and knees with my face pressed against the ground, trying to find the others. If it was only one spider, I wouldn't have looked. But they're not exactly known for their pack-like behavior. Anyway, I didn't find any. But I *did* strip my sheets and immediately put them in the washer. And I moved my matress back above me. Now I'm just waiting for my matress pad to dry to make my bed to go to sleep to get up at 6.

It was no Infestation of '98, but tomorrow I'm going to RAID my entire room, just to be safe.

I feel like things are crawling on me right now.

I think Neutrino is my favorite. Because all the improvisers from different troupes are in it. I don't get to see Bri, Xchel, GravyTrain, Shane, Bob, Mark, Shawn, or John any other time. I only see Stacey, Tommy, and Jacque at PIF meetings.

Tonight was great. I'm super tired, but because of a minor spider infestation, must stay up for a while and wash things. Then get up to work at 6. Boo on that. Anyway, because so many people showed and two of the cameras weren't charged, Bri and I hung out and waited our turn. She asked how the move was going and I asked about her man. Mark comes in and decides to film us. We continue our conversation as I play with her hair. It was a little bizarre when he would say cut and we'd have to stop talking, but everyone really liked the scene. Because it was natural. They kept commenting on that. Yeah, folks, we know. We pretty much ignored Mark when he was moving all around and just kept talking. That's what girls do.

And now you know.

I just attempted to leave the bathroom. As I was opening the door, I stubbed it against my toe, causing the door to hit the right side of my head. Hard. Score 10 points for Klutzy McTripsalot.

Sometimes I feel like an America's Funniest Home Videos music montage.

May 9 is a Wednesday.
May 9 is three Wednesdays away.
May 9 will be my last day at AGIA.

There. I'm making it official. I hopeHopehope that I'm telecommuting by then. Next week I will have to talk with Tom about everything. If this doesn't work out, I seriously have no idea what I'm going to do.

So...wish me luck!

back to reality

So, he left today. There was some maybe talk about staying another couple of days, but that didn't work out.

Fun was had. Oregano's and a pazookie; Pita Jungle and the garlic dip. Cassy is *finally* married. The wedding was...well, she was super stressed and didn't look like she was enjoying herself until the reception. Yet another tick mark in the elopement category. The cook out turned into a cook in. Rain. Seriously. The first time in months that it's rained is the time I have people over for a bbq. But we made chicken in my oven and some of us hit the hot tub. We finished our taxes. Horseback riding was phenomenal! The weather was perfect for it. Thanks, Michelle, for setting that up!! Saw Candy for a pedi. I introduced him to the pilot of Alias. Then, all on his own, he asked to watch some more. Of course! We blew through the first 7 or 8 episodes. And he left with the rest of Season 1. Awesome!

As I watched him walk down the hall to security, I got all choked up--which really surprised me. So I immediately left before I could have an actual emotion.

Yep. I've got it pretty bad for this kid.

To get my attention, Ken throws Hershey's Kisses at me.

I do not mind.

Four hours left to go at work.

Four.

Long.

Hours.

All I have to do is get through the next 8 hours. Then it's off to the airport!! I'm willing to bet a large amount of money that today is going to be the hardest work day ever.

But then I get him for a whole week!

Hagrid wins!!!

Thanks, babe.

:-)

I am pleased.

I love being in the office this late. No one is here.

Eureka! By George, I've got it!!!

Since I can't access most of the internet, how about if you write a journal entry and email it to me! I would appreciate a fictional day in your life oh-so much! So, get to writing!

(see how demandy I'm being with all of those exclamation marks?)

I hate that they've blocked LJ from work. Sometimes, after spending an hour staring at a claim, it's nice to take a break and read about Handsome Golfer. Or catch up with the goings-on in Denver. Or see what Hagrid and the kids are up to. Or read another secret postcard. But, no.

Luckily they have not blocked Blogger. So I can post these meaningless entries.

Take that, The Man!!

Holy Toledo, Todd just made me blush!

Hard core.

Morning ritual: hit snooze three times. Finally get out of bed. Except today I skipped that second part. And drifted off into another dream. Where something was going on and someone said, "You don't want to be late for work." I then sat bolt upright and climbed down my ladder. Thank you, subconscious, for not letting me oversleep.

He'll be here the day after tomorrow!!

My room is still clean, and I smile at it every time I come in.

Two whole glorious days off work. It was nice.

Sometimes I don't even have music playing. I just wear my headphones so people leave me alone.

Monday, June 2, 2002. Our first date. He was late. I thought I was being stood up. My folks let me have their first row seats along the 1st base line at the Dragons. He shows; we leave. We have such a great time and fantastic conversation. In the middle of an inning during a warm up, the first baseman calls me cute. I look up. He throws me the ball. Everyone around does the whole "ooohhh" thing like when people kiss on tv. It was pretty great. I mean, it made me look good for a first date, you know? The game went on and we were deep in conversation. Then people around us started clapping and standing up. Did we miss a great play? No. We missed the entire end of the game because we were so into each other. Then we went back to my place and he played the guitar and sang and I got a foot massage. It was the best first date.

I guess I just wanted to record something really wonderful from my relationship with The Boy.

Because most of my memories are not really wonderful.

Because you don't remember the amazing things that happen early on.

Because today I am cleaning my room.

Because I'm throwing the baseball away.

Happy Easter, everybody!

That was masking tape. The second pic is my favorite, I think. Because I wasn't expecting him to continue with the tape, it was in my hair, and the expression on José's face is absolutely priceless!!

Hi. I'm sorry, do you not see my headphones? I do not want to talk to anyone today. That includes you. My apologies. I'm in a horrible mood and I am trying very hard not to jump across the cubicle partition and strangle you to death, then perform CPR to bring you back, only so I can do it over again. Jack Bristow style. This NIN music is not helping my temper. But I'm enjoying it, so BACK. OFF.

Thank you.

High-larious,

As I was brushing my teeth this morning I made the decision to not wash my face. I still have make up on from yesterday. And, hell, if I'm not gonna wash my face, I may as well not brush my hair. OK.

A couple of years ago I remember a conversation at STAR where the ladies were fighting over who was lower maintenance. HaHA! Eat that ladies.

I am the tiredest of girls. After the Maundy Thursday service last night it was my full intention to come home and go to bed. But I haven't seen the boys in a while. So we tried the new Pita Jungle, as it was only a mile away. It is very swanky and upscale. Which kinda makes me sad. But the garlic dip is just as tasty. Jeff, Jeff, and David had never eaten at the original. Which surprises the heck out of me. David grew up in Tempe (where the original is located), Jeff and Jeff both spent the majority of their lives in AZ. Yet this was their first experience. I love sharing good places to eat with good friends. And I think it's safe to say they loved the food.

After PJ, we went to Coldstone. P.S. the NW corner of 44th and Indian School is my new favorite corner in all of AZ. There is a Chevron, which is my preferred gas, Pei Wei, PJ, Coldstone, and some other stuff but I forget because those four places are the most important. So we sat outside and had ice cream. Then I drove home. Then I text messaged until I fell asleep.

And now the day begins. Looking forward to tomorrow, because I have a boatload of crap that has been piling up over the last several weeks, and now I can sort through it. And sleep past 6. And do my taxes. And get my toes done with Cassy--her last Saturday of being a non-married woman. Sadly, she's too busy to have a bachelorette party. So I will pay for her toes.

*yawn* *stretch* OK, breakfast and work.

Woohoo! One week from today!

Who has two thumbs and is excited? This guy.

I was just thinking about how much I like peanut butter. But not on my desk. Or keyboard. See, I'm eating a homemade protein bar/cake/thing for dinner. I am spreading pb on it. I am at my computer, catching up on other people's lives. I am bumping the knife, getting tiny amounts of pb on the above-mentioned places.

Then...I cut a piece of the bar with my fork and flip the knife, fork, peanut butter-covered bar, and plate onto my lap and the floor. The knife hits my hair on the way down. I now have peanut butter on my shirt, pants, arm, hair, and floor.

As it happened I said, "Oh no," out loud. To no one in particular.

Eating will resume when I am done computering.

My computer is running so slow it makes me want to punch things. I had to sort through 16 claims ranging 2-17 pgs/claim in another system, and it tood FOREVER to get what I wanted. Which, by the way, was on the last page of the last claim.

The irony is not lost.

*slams head onto desk*

In another life I was a therapist.

I love you. I wish I could make it stop hurting.

awesome things! (to be expounded upon later)

The show in henderson sucked. The show in Sedona rocked. (these opinions are from my POV only.)

zha called; I couldn't hear him. Nathan called; he had to go. My phone died.

I can say with confidence the drive back from Sedona last night was the most fun I have ever had in my car.

After dinner José hugged me and said it made him sad to realize I'm moving. I haven't realized that yet, so I'm not sad (except for in that moment. that made me sad). It hasn't sunk in what I'm leaving.

For later: Dangerville is Slow, Dumb, and Cumbersome. Showers are hilarious. I have a strange box. Bill got a hat from a biker. Dear Shane, buttholes. Love, Ashley. Rape Me on the jukebox--an acoustic version and the recorded one. Open container in my car. Shane and I are Mom and Dad. So many brownies my fingertips went numb. Fire ants suck. Crappy Irish pub, crappier cover charge, crappiest Irish band. Cinnamon and videos. I must sleep in a cave. Someone died there (clap clap clapclapclap).

But now I have to get back in my car and drive to Chandler to help Cassy pick out music for her wedding and something sexxxxy to wear her wedding night.

Oh, and I just got a new swimsuit. It rocks hard core!!! It's sort of a 1920's style swim dress. I LOVE IT!!! The only thing I need to complete the look is a swim cap with huge, gaudy flowers and a chin strap. Find one for me!!!