Wow. And I mean Wow. Arizona sure knows how to throw a good monsoon. We had 10 minutes left in rehearsal tonight, and the director wanted to run part of another act. Which means we would have gone at least 15 minutes over. Then some guy comes in and asks for towels (by the way, the show is at a church), and people want to go out and see the rain and then we realize the church is leaking. All over the electrical equipment. Needless to say, we ended there and ran around trying to dry things off and find buckets. It was pouring outside. Like rain I've never seen. Now, it rains a lot in Dayton, but not like this. Arizona gets their year's worth in a couple of days. And the lightning. Wow. I've never seen anything like it. It's not a single chord that touches down. It branches out like blind fingers. I get to drive through this. It's so bright. I felt like I was driving through a club with strobes. And there are blue trails in my vision. I wondered what it's like when lightning strikes. Then I thought of Sweet Home Alabama. Be careful what you wish for. On the other side of the road, lightning hit the ground and a light pole. There were huge sparks, then everything went dark. I thought I was going to throw up. I've never been that close to something so powerful, and I never want to be that close again. The whole ride home I thought I would die. As I pass the airport, I see a plane ascending. If I were on that plane, I would be curled up in a ball with my ears plugged crying. The lightning just got worse. I had a bit of a headache when I finally made it home, and my stomach is just now untangling. Paul is watching a movie with J, and I was kind of hoping they would be here. I just don't feel like being alone right now.

I was on the treadmill for an hour yesterday instead of the elliptical cycle thingies. And I really wish my calves were detachable right now. I have no cartilage in my knees to begin with, so imagine how sexy I look limping down stairs while little gnomes follow behind and stab my upper calves with knives and sharp hammers. Perhaps my underwear is on inside out.

I wore my underwear inside out all day. Not on purpose.

OK, this relates to another post. The news headline read as follows "Ice Cream: Coronary in a Cone?" Come on! The next one made me sad: "Was is legal to kill Saddam's Sons?" I mean, when is it really legal to kill anyone? And what are the reasonings behind it? This is why I'm against the death penalty. Do not set up a society where it is illegal and immoral to kill people, then offer that up as justice. It's rediculous. If we lived in a society that didn't establish killing as such, I would have no problem with the death penalty. I just think it's really hypocritical and I hate it. In other news, last night I went to the callback from the Worst Audition Ever, and it was the Worst Callback Ever. I mean, I really had to talk myself into going. It was so far away, and it turned out that everybody there knew everybody else. Including the director. But I forgot how damn funny "A Flea In Her Ear" is, so I think I'll go see it when it opens. Because I will not be participating in the production. I felt very out of place. Which is exactly what community theatre is. I forgot. My bad. And this is my favorite line from the story: "So Jord and I walk down the hallway with a plastic knife and a mouse stuck to a glue board."

This is incredibly funny. You must all read it.

Began a new assignment with the temp service yesterday. Wanted to get there 15 mins early so I could hit human resources to get my badge and be in the office a little before scheduled. That meant I would need to leave at 6:45. My alarm went off, but I don't remember that part. What I do remember is bolting out of bed at 6:55. Woke up Paul. "What's wrong?" "Need to leave in 5 minutes!" Well, I was slightly late. Luckily there wasn't much traffic. So today I woke up about ten minutes before my alarm. It's funny how your body works.

I have issues. I don't think I'm a very good person to be in a relationship with. My biggest fear is that he'll find someone he likes better. Because that's what happens. I went through it two summers ago. And it sucks. Not that I was in a serious committed relationship with The Schmuck, but it still hurts when you get replaced. I'm the sort of person who wants everything to be perfect all of the time. (It stems from my childhood) And I'm worried that he's going to start hating his job, or that he'll get bored with me, or that he's mad because we don't have many friends out here. It's only been a month and a half. That's what I keep telling myself. But I get really paranoid that he's not happy, or that he's ready for a change. And even though she's just a friend from work, she's still a cutesmartbubblyfun single female. Paul and I haven't gone to a bar for almost six hours and hung out and talked. Ever. And then there's the time that someone I loved got drunk and slept with someone else. So, with all these insecurities inside, it's like, there's no reason for him not to like her. Because she's not the headcase I am. I hung out with them last night, and I really liked her. Which I secretly did not want to do. Like her, I mean. Not the hanging out part. Plus, we've been together for a while. People get bored. Or they want something new and different and exciting. What do I do? I feel like in my head, we've already broken up.

I wonder what I'll be writing about a year from now...

I updated my links. For cryin' out loud, people, stop changing your websites.

Note to self: When using a new face-cleansing product with the words "icy" and "blast" in the title, do not, I repeat, do NOT use to remove eye make-up.

Also, last night as I was taking my shower, I noticed our ceiling was leaking. Paul mentioned it to me, too. At first I thought it was condensation, then I remembered I now live in the desert. I was afraid our bathroom ceiling would cave in. So I called emergency maintenance, and they came over this morning. Here is what the work order said:

"Request: leak in ceiling above shower.
Description of work done: Resident's own shower head was leaking and shooting water up towards ceiling. Tighten shower head.
Have a great day!"

How hard was it, do you think, for Javier not to add, "dumbass" to the end of that?

My sister is visiting from Ohio this week. It never rains in Arizona--desert and all. But Saturday night we went to drink in Tempe, and what happens? We're in a store, and all these people start coming in, soaked. Luckily it only rained for 5 minutes, but it was long enough to tease her about bringing the Ohio floods with here with her. It's been really nice to have someone from back home visiting for a while.

Wanna know what pisses me off? The fight over Oreo cookies. Some asshole is suing Nabisco or whoever makes Oreos because they're bad for you. Hello!! Am I the only one who realized cookies do not have the same nutritional value as spinach? And this guy won. I don't know exactly what he won, but the fact that you can sue a cookie maker for making things that taste good but are full of fat and chemicals. Read the ingredients. They're right there on the lable. Do you see fiber? No. Do you see sugar? Yes. Do you see things you cannot pronounce? Yes. Those do not equal good for you. If you don't want to get fat, don't eat a box of oreos. Don't go suing the company so they have to make them healthier. God. People in this country just don't take responsibility for their actions. Like the families suing McDonald's for making their kids fat. Big Macs aren't made of carrots and broccoli, folks. Let's get a grip here. And if you ask, they will give you a chart with all the nutritional information. Or go to Subway. It's on their napkins. There are something like 800 calories in a Big Mac. Besides, Ronald didn't go shoving the fries and shakes down the throats of these kids. He didn't hold a gun to their heads or beat them because they wouldn't comply. There's an award out there, similar to the Darwin Awards named after the woman who sued McDonalds for their hot coffee. I forget the name of it. But it's real lawsuits and their outcomes. There were two that made me particularly sad. One was a man who set his RV on cruise control, then went into the back and took a nap. The vehicle overturned three times, and he won some ungodly amount of money. This company then had to change their manuals explaining that "cruise control" did not mean "auto pilot". The other was a woman in a department store tripped over a rowdy kid and broke her arm. She sued the store and won. The child was hers.

Someone, please restore my faith in humanity.

Today is Paul's birthday. He's 26. I met him for lunch, and we just got back from dinner. It was very nice, and I'm so full I think I might vomit. We both ordered desert, but he also got a piece of chocolate mousse cake because he's so old. We're going to play Scrabble soon.

This is a comment from Tosh the other day: "With all your free time, why don't you write a book or a play or something? Instead of posting nine times a day." Well, let me answer that. You see, after a certain point when you feel that you'll never get a job and all your savings is going down the drain, you sort of have no motivation to get out of bed. If I had a million billion dollars, the story would be different. Because I'd go back to school. I'd learn how to speak Spanish (because that's what everyone speaks here. There are even a few Spanish channels with soap operas that I like to watch), and I'd study sign language again. Then I'd take computer courses so my webpage wouldn't be a lame template. But since I don't have that amount of money, I spend most of my time thinking about how much we owe. However, tomorrow I start work at a Mercedes dealership. My dad was all excited until I explained my job would be finding parts with certain numbers and taking them to the technicians who need them. Not glamorous, but it pays and it gives me a reason to go on living. Well, I think I need to stop typing. Any movement at all makes it harder for my stomach to concentrate on digesting the rediculous amount of food I enjoyed.

Also, Happy Birthday Debbie! (my birth mom)

OK, I do believe the comments situation has been fixed.

I am having issues with the comments. For some reason it's not posting a number when someone makes a comment. Thanks, Heather, for mentioning that. So, Max, to answer your question (sorry, didn't know you had one): Yes, Donnie Darko is a good movie. It's very strange and non-mainstream, which may be why I like it. But it makes you think. And it's just plain weird. I'll try to fix the comments thing, folks.

I just got a cable bill from OH. I'm currently on hold.

Two nights ago I had dreams about high school, and both times when I woke up I was startled to find myself in a different room than the one in which I grew up.

Riddle me this. Today is the 5th of July, is it not? And yesterday was the 4th, correct? Perhaps this is an Ohio thing, but two different people I've spoken with today are going to two different sets of fireworks in two different cities. For some reason, this really irks me. Why are there still fireworks? Does this happen in other states? Please inform me if it does.

Strange morning. Woke up to the phone ringing at 10:25. It was the AD from You Can't Take It With You asking if I knew rehearsal started at 9. I said I didn't know I had been cast. He put me on with the director. She said she left a message last week on an answering machine we don't have which I did not receive. So some random person thinks she's cast as Rheba. Yes, Rheba the black maid. Obviously they are going to change all references to ethnicity, seeing as I am not black. And all the "yassuh"s are "yes sir"s. So I made it to the last hour. Missed all the introductions, don't know anybody's name (including the director), so hopefully I'll get a cast list and contact sheet soon. Then Paul and I were going over to my aunt and uncle's while they're away to mow the lawn, but it was too hot by the time I got back. As long as we can get there around 11, it'll be fine. But it's almost three, and 112 outside, so we're going to wait until tomorrow. My audition to call back ratio is 100%, and so is my call back to cast. I'm really thankful I didn't move to LA. I think the situation would be a lot different. It sucks to be depressed about not having a job and not getting cast. So I'm just depressed about the job thing. And being cast sort of makes it difficult to waitress. Restaurants tend to only hire people who have no scheduling conflicts. I'm still going to apply, but I'm not going to hold my breath. Please, temp agency, come through.

There's this website I've been reading for a few years now. bluishorange. It's under "alison" over there on the right. Anyway, she's one of the most amazing writers I've read. So, everybody go read it--it's really good. I do have a point here, hang on. So she reads all these books by important people. Books that would make Oprah proud. I don't get to read that much, but now that we're DAY 35: NO JOB, I've been reading a bit. Mainly plays and the screenplay I'm called back for, but also Harry Potter. And it was really good. Not just because I'm a teensy weensy bit obsessive (see below), but because J.K. Rowling is a damn good writer. I wanted to share that with Alison, because she appreciates a good read. However, I felt my book a little childish. Then I checked her site (as I do at least three times a day now that we have high speed internet and I have nothing to do) and a picture of The Order of the Phoenix was on her list. It made me instantly happy. P.S. Tosha, how far are you? We need to discuss. Anyway, Tosh and I talk about who should be in the film versions. I was on imdb for a while tonight, and found out some great and not-so-great things. The great stuff is as follows: Gary Oldman will be playing Serius Black!! How perfect. I don't think Tosh and I were able to cast him, but it's fabulous. (Also excellent choices were Kenneth Branagh as Lockhart and Alan Rickman as Snape) Other good stuff is Michael Gambon as Dumbledore. You may remember him in Gosford Park, but he will also be in Timeline (look two posts down--it's getting late and I don't feel like linking anymore). The bad stuff is the fact that they've already announced Prisoner of Azkaban. That's book 4! Tonks is only one book away. They are not making my efforts to be cast easy. So, that's my Harry Potter update.

In other news, it was the 4th of July eleven minutes ago. Paul and I had no desire to fight the 1.2 million people of this hot city to see fireworks. So we went to the Chandler Mall, which has been compared to The Mall of America. (It's not as big, but I think it's the biggest mall west of the MoA) Then we went to Target, because everyone should go there at least twice a week. We came home, played scrabble with our new dictionary puchased at the big T (looked up every other word, just because we could), and watched a movie. About halfway through the movie, we heard explosions outside. We went to our balcony to try to see the fireworks. It was a perfect view. We watched for about 15 minutes, got too hot, came back in, and finished the movie. We didn't have to fight traffic or crazy people. We were very close to the ac (it was 111 today), and we got to go back inside to continue our evening festivities. I love where we live. I hope everyone's 4th was a safe one.

I had a job this morning. The temp agency finally came through and called me at 10, which gave me reason to put off going to the gym for a bit. I was to start at 7 a.m. the following Monday. Something to do!! Yippee!! So I didn't go to Cheesecake Factory to apply to serve. I haven't served in years and swore I'd never go back, but it's really good money. Something I need. Especially after $250 for headshots and $215 for a plane ticket back home for Steph's wedding. Which I'm in. Which means a dress and gift. Anyway. I went about my day. Grocery shopping, working out, talking long distance. Then my phone rings around 4, and it's the temp agency. The client cancelled their order. And not only is the weekend coming up (never a good time to apply for a job), but it's also a holiday (lots of things are closed, and restaurants are very busy).
Poop.
Poop, I say.

Damn Hollywood. You keep making all my good books into movies before I can. First it was Sphere. Now it's Timeline. I remember reading that book. The chapter titles were a countdown. I would have to put a sheet of paper over what I hadn't read so I wouldn't skip ahead. After I finished it, I remember wanting to talk to friends about this great movie I saw, then I realized it was a book. Michael Crichton really knows how to write for the screen. So now I think I'm going to start my campaign to play "Tonks" in The Order Of The Phoenix early. Because I know they're going to make a movie for every book. The books sell too well for them not to. Wish me luck.

Holy crap. I got a call back for "A Flea In Her Ear" from the worst audition ever.