I have issues. I don't think I'm a very good person to be in a relationship with. My biggest fear is that he'll find someone he likes better. Because that's what happens. I went through it two summers ago. And it sucks. Not that I was in a serious committed relationship with The Schmuck, but it still hurts when you get replaced. I'm the sort of person who wants everything to be perfect all of the time. (It stems from my childhood) And I'm worried that he's going to start hating his job, or that he'll get bored with me, or that he's mad because we don't have many friends out here. It's only been a month and a half. That's what I keep telling myself. But I get really paranoid that he's not happy, or that he's ready for a change. And even though she's just a friend from work, she's still a cutesmartbubblyfun single female. Paul and I haven't gone to a bar for almost six hours and hung out and talked. Ever. And then there's the time that someone I loved got drunk and slept with someone else. So, with all these insecurities inside, it's like, there's no reason for him not to like her. Because she's not the headcase I am. I hung out with them last night, and I really liked her. Which I secretly did not want to do. Like her, I mean. Not the hanging out part. Plus, we've been together for a while. People get bored. Or they want something new and different and exciting. What do I do? I feel like in my head, we've already broken up.

I wonder what I'll be writing about a year from now...