I found my first grey hair today. It's at the very top of my head where my hair parts. It's thick and silver. Paul makes my pluck out his grey hairs, but I actually like mine. I think I'll name her Bernice.

The building I work in has one bathroom per floor. And I'm far away. So I find going to the bathroom somewhat annoying. See, I drink a lot of water. I try to hold it as long as possible so I'm not making a trip every few minutes. But there are two things that piss me off. (sorry--inspired by Heather's puns) First, there is a guy who cleans the bathrooms. And never at the same time each day. He always seems to be cleaning the bathroom (you can't go in when he's in there--he locks the door) when I have to go. I trek all the way down the hall to the bathroom, and I see his sign up. I now have two options. 1) Walk all the way back to my desk, get my badge (you have to have an id to move between floors), walk all the way back to the 2nd floor stairs, and go up or down to the next bathroom. Of course, if I choose this option, he always seems to be done cleaning by the time I walk by on my way to the stairs. 2) Stand outside the bathroom doing the peepee dance until he's done. Now, the problem with that option is, I never know when he's going to be done. If I happen to catch him right as he's beginning, I have a 15 minute wait. Usually I walk back to my desk, get my badge, and come back to the bathroom to discover that he's finished. The second frustrating thing is that during these times when I hold it forever, I have a good pee. But then 15 minutes later I have to go again. Sometimes I think my bladder is plotting against me.

It's about 9 on a Friday. I've spent almost 2 hours reading various websites of friends. I just added Kristen on the right. Check her out. We went to preschool together, moved far away, and ended up not only in middle school through graduation, but also in the same neighborhood. Paul is currently out with a friend from work. I am bored. I kind of want to call him so I can meet up with them somewhere, but he needs to hang out with people who are not me. Because he hangs out with me all the time. Sure, I could work out. That would soak up about three hours of my night (1hr cardio, 1hr pilates, streching, and showering). But I think I'll sit at home and feel sorry for myself. I have my film class tomorrow, which I love. Maybe I'll go to bed early, and work out in the morning before class. I have been getting some great feedback from my teacher. The 11th week she takes an audition tape to the four SAG agents in the area (who she knows), and takes notes on what they say. The 12th week, she tells us. 95% of her students are signed. So I'll know by December if I get an agent. All I want is to make enough money so that I don't have to have a second job. Paul's battery died, so I had to take him to work. Normally I leave by 6:30 to my stupid job where I enter insurance claims all day for $8.50/hr. But today I didn't even have to get up until 7. And it changed my entire day. I could so get used to that. I packed a lunch for both of us, go to see him awake, and woke up before the alarm went off. We actually were able to interact in the morning. If I don't get signed in Dec, I'm going to get another job. I've been looking around at other data entry jobs, and they start at $11/hr. Plus I now have experience. It's much easier to hate your job less when you are making more money. And money is definitely an issue. My film class is $40/week for 12 weeks. My plane ticket back home is $215, my dress was around $160. Et cetera, et cetera. Last Sunday I saw a girl I graduated college with on a Disney commercial. Then I saw a guy I worked with at Kings Island in a movie. Super Troopers. He was also in Grind and Cabin Fever. And Sarah is going to be on Cold Case (Sunday nights) any day now. Tosha's been doing a ton of stuff back home, and has two gigs she has yet to hear back from. So all of this makes me want to work so much, but I need an agent first. Catch 22. Elayne loves me and will put a very good word in for me with the big guys. I just wish it were December already! Changing the subject. This Sunday I start the pill again. For the past three years I've been on depo, and haven't thought much about the weight gain. But a friend of mine was on it for a year and put on 25% of her body weight. And the more I talk to people about it, the less I want to be on depo. But I'm not looking forward to the transition. The hormones of the shot will be fighting with the hormones of the pill for a week or so. On an up note, this friend has lost 7 lbs already (has only been back to the pill for a month), and hasn't changed anything else. I've lost 10 since the move out here, and would like to be down another 10 for the audition. I have a bit of a chin that I'm very self-conscious about. Plus the tv business is all about the body. And I have all these skirts I'd eventually like to fit back in. It's been a nice ego boost to fit in to a pair of pants that I haven't been able to wear. And I'm 5 lbs away from my lowest weight since I've been with Paul. Which was the middle of last summer. So what did I do tonight? Exercise? No. Have a bowl of ice cream for dinner? Yes. But I do think I'm going to take a nap until Paul calls for me to come pick him up. That way I'll be rested for my morning workout. He bought a battery for his car, but will not be installing it tonight in the dark. OK, so I'm going to stop staring at the screen and biting off my left thumb nail. I am going to nap. It feels good to make a decision. I've been so blah tonight. This is progress.

P.S. I'm boycotting the world series.

My bridesmaid dress arrived today. I've known Steph since I was three. But I'm done now. I will not be in any more weddings. First it was Meredith, then Heather. Now Stephanie. I love all of these girls, and am thrilled to be a part of this day. Don't get me wrong. But weddings are expensive. I had to fly to Boston for Heather and back home for Steph. Then there's the dress, shoes, hair, and gift. The only other weddings I will be in for the rest of my life are my sister's and Tosha's. And neither is getting married any time within the next ten years. I, myself, will not be getting married (probably ever--or at least until after I'm 30), so I won't have to worry about that. Paul has been invited to three or four weddings this year. If we'd waited until January to move out here, things would be different. He's flown home once, and will be heading back again soon. The others he had to turn down. Oh, and I can't go home for Christmas. We're not allowed to take any time off from Nov. 1 through the rest of the year because we're switching to a new computer system. I have to work 9 hour days to make up for the three days I'm going to miss in November. This whole thing sucks. I hope I get an agent so I can start working so I can quit this job. Buh. Sorry to sound so negative, but I'm not in a good mood. I do, however, have my film class tomorrow, which I always look forward to. So, yea for that.

Damn the Cubs. It's the bottom of the 8th, so technically they still have a chance. But they are really good at letting go of a good thing. They were up 3-0 until they gave up EIGHT RUNS IN ONE INNING!!! Don't they understand what this would mean to my dad--a lifetime fan who grew up just outside Chicago--if they made it to the World Series? Come on, Cubbies, do this for my dad. Gotta get back to the game.

I love my aunt. We've been living in AZ for a little over four months now. And instead of being 2000 miles away, Nancy lives about 35 min. north. So today while Paul was golfing, I went shopping with my aunt. We went to Victoria's Secret first because the two bras I own are almost two years old. They had all these new colors in new styles, with matching panties. This may not be exciting for most people, but for those of us who have huge boobs, it's great. See, usually you can only buy tan, white, and black bras that are styled for 70-yr-old women. But at VC, they hook you up. So I now have my first pair of matching bra and panties. Technically two sets--purple and silver. Then we went to Robinson-May and they were having a huge 75%off sale. I bought a Tommy H. short-sleeved zip-up hoodie, a Liz Claiborne golf shirt (so I have something to wear the next time Paul invites me and doesn't un-invite me a day later), and a pair of casual dress slacks that had small flowers embroidered on the left ankle and right pocket. Nancy bought a red sleeveless shirt. While we were standing in line, she grabs my stuff to put it on the counter and says, "My treat." I love my aunt. And she loves spending money on other people. So I will help her out in any way I can. We parted ways after that, and I hit another mall that had a Lerner's of New York (because I had a coupon). Most of my shirts have a really wild pattern, and I need something solid for auditions. The coupon could be used on sale items and red-line. So I bought $209 worth of stuff for $88. Do I rock or what?

Today was a good day.

Tonight is the last season premier of my shows. Angel. Candy's coming over to watch with me. Yea! Have I mentioned how much I love it here? It's October 1, and we still haven't been below 100 during the day. I love the heat. I didn't even realize how late into the season it was. In Ohio, you plan your Halloween costume around how many layers you can get under it. I remember going trick-or-treating several times in the snow. Not this year. I'm broke and stressed, but so happy.

I would post more, but my computer is slowly dying and it won't open web pages sometimes. I thought it was Blogger's fault, but it's doing that with other sites as well. Anyway, I really need to be getting ready for work, but Paul said something worth quoting. I get up a little before 6, and he gets up a little before 8. He hates having a phone in the bedroom, so I keep it unplugged. This morning at about 5:45 the phone rang. Now, I may have let it go if it hadn't been so early. I mean, what if it was an emergency or something. Paul's point was that they would leave a message. Well, I answered it. The only thing Paul hates more than having a phone in the bedroom, is when it's for him. So I woke him up. "I'm not here." I asked if it was an emergency. They guy on the other end identified himself as Paul's old college buddy. Who forgot about the time change. After I hung up, Paul says, "I'm going to saw off your hands." I know he was pissed, but crap, that was funny. Then he rolled over and went back to sleep. Sorry, babe. I won't wake you next time.