By absolutely no stretch of the imagination am I a photographer. I enjoy taking pictures. I have a kick ass camera. I have an okay eye. But I've never studied composition. I don't even really know how my camera works. But my friend recommended me to someone to shoot their daughter's wedding. I'm still not quite sure why. They decided on Wednesday to have the wedding on Saturday. The guy was in the military and he's going to California this weekend and they wanted to get married before he left. So it was a backyard wedding, nothing too fancy. The bride was in a full gown, and there was a maid of honor. Everything looked really nice, and not rushed at all. But I have never done a wedding before. I've taken pictures of friends. But you can redo that stuff if you mess up. You can't really reshoot a wedding. But they had no one else, so I agreed. Now, I didn't have the heart to tell them I had never done anything like this before and are you sure you want to trust your only daughter's wedding to someone who really had no idea what she was doing? So when she asked how much I charged, the number 10 came out of my mouth. Which, later, Tosha pointed out made it seem like I had never done this before and really had no idea what I was doing. She said even the cheap guys in Ohio charged $75/hr. I reminded her that they at least had their own business. And, now that I'm thinking about it, that $75 probably included film and developing. I used to work at a camera store, and I went on a shoot with my boss. I think he charged $30/roll & $30/hr. My total, after developing, printing, the initial cost of the film, and my impressive hourly rate, will end up around $200. So it's not as bad as it seems. Plus, did I mention I had never done this before?

So everything is going well. I'm hanging out with the family. Taking pictures of the bride as she gets ready. The ceremony is going well. I'm sort of in a front corner by the pool, and I can only shoot the groom from this angle. Because it was in the backyard, there was no room for me to get around to the other side to shoot the bride. Unless I Jesused it up and walked across the pool. But, I didn't want to steal the bride's thunder, so I stayed put. Then I switched rolls of film. Well, they weren't slowing anything down, so I was kind of rushing. Then the minister said he was going to have them light the unity candles and if I wanted to shoot this, I could get in the aisle. I fumble around, but make it there. This also gives me the perfect opportunity to move to the other side to shoot the bride saying her vows. Then they kiss, walk down the aisle, stop at the end, kiss again, and now it's the reception. As people are filing back into the house to get food. I look down, expecting to see "14" or something thereabouts. I see "E". "E" as in empty. "E" as in the film didn't catch because I loaded it too fast. "E" as in eegads, don't let me throw up in front of everyone. So I didn't get any shots of the bride. Or the unity candle. Or them kissing.

Well, I took 8 rolls of film and other people were taking pictures and video taping. Maybe no one will notice. I should get the photos back tomorrow night. I hope they are in focus. I hope it looks okay.

So that was my first experience shooting a wedding. I learned a lot. But I don't think I'm so ready for another one any time soon.

Did you miss the series premier of "Lost"? Shame on you. There were no opening credits and the first commercial break was 21 minutes into the show. Watch next week. It's really great.

Also, this Sunday is the season premier of "American Dreams". My friend Caroline Macey will appear for the first few episodes. Her character's name is Lily. She's incredibly cute. Oh, and talented, too. So show your support!

How do you deal with anger?

I remember last summer mowing my aunt and uncle's lawn while they were out of the country. The lawn was really long, it was 110 outside, and the blades were dull. It took me over three hours to do the damn thing. In the beginning I couldn't get the lawn mower to go more than five inches (I'm not exaggerating) before it clogged up and stalled. Then I'd have to back the thing up, which was really hard on my knees (I have no cartilage). At one point I had to walk away because I was so mad. I almost cried.

I was thinking about that last night. When I get really, really angry, I cry.

How do you deal with anger?

When your three-year-old laptop poops out on you and you can't reach the one person who can help you reformat your hard drive, one solution is to buy a whole new computer.

Thanks to everyone for your emails, thoughts and prayers over the past few months, and especially recently. My mom is doing fine. She has large-cell lymphoma which is easier to treat than other forms and the tumor will shrink quickly. Currently it's very large and pressing against her spine, so she's in pain (or, she would be in pain if it weren't for the pretty Vicodin). She starts Chemo tomorrow and will have treatments through Christmas. The drugs are much better than they were even a few years ago, so although she'll lose her hair, she won't be all vomity for days at a time. I'm going back in October for a wedding, and am staying a week to a visit. She was in much better spirits last night than she had been in a while. I think mainly it's because they finally have answers. They were in the dark for the past few weeks, so of course she was thinking the worst. Better that than get your hopes up only to hear bad news. So all is well on the family front. Thank you all again for the amazing amount of support you have shown! You have no idea how much I appreciate it all.
Much love.