Sobbing. Uncontrollable sobbing. The kind where you can't catch your breath. The kind that can turn into hiccups. The kind where your eyes hurt when it's over, and you can barely keep them open. The kind that, when you're done, you should just go to sleep.

It's not like I knew him. It's not like he's a real person. But for some reason, I just couldn't stop. Maybe I thought about two of my oldest and closest friends who've lost their fathers. And how one was like a second dad to me. And how I helped the other cope. Maybe I'm terrified of losing my own.

You never know how you're going to die. Or when.

You just do.