Have you ever been frightened so badly you've almost puked?

Today I came home from my newjobthatIlove!! and dropped my coat on the floor and turned on ER so I could practice being a doctor. I was settled on the couch when out of the corner of my eye I saw something on my upper arm. Perhaps you heard my scream. It was a grasshopper type thing the size of a peach. I blew it off and it landed a few feet away on the floor. I tried to shoo it outside, but it jumped like nine feet up into the air. Then it crawled inside my jacket. I got my broom, swept my jacket outside into the hallway, stood two steps above it and started poking it with the broom. The giant-huge-cricket was inside my sleeve. Taking up the whole thing. So I finally get it out of my jacket, but I refuse to get anywhere near it, so I have to straddle the entryway and open the door with my foot while balancing with my left arm and sweeping the cricket out into the cold night rain with my right arm. My right leg was in the air for counter-balance. I kind of wish I was one of my neighbors looking though the peep-hole. Afterwards I made my way to Kroger to buy a huge can of Raid. And some ice cream.

But I still kinda feel like I'm gonna puke.