Thursday, March 29, 2007

The following are excerpts from emails back and forth yesterday. It ends in a delightful Jack McBrayer Christmas written by one W H Binder. Please enjoy. I sure did!!:

José: My theory is that they're plants that McBrayer (who's angry that I've kept him away from PIF for two years in a row) has hired.
Plants for what?
I'm not sure...but evil is afoot - a very McBrayerful evil.

Me: your theory is dumb and you should feel dumb.
Everyone knows the delightful Jack McBrayer (who can be seen Thursday nights at 9 on 30 Rock on NBC (coming back from haitus 2 WHOLE WEEKS early!)) is quite the opposite of evil. In fact, just last week he was spotted generously donating his time at a soup kitchen.

Michelle: jose's message made me thing that there should exist a tv special called "A Very McBrayer Christmas." Ashley, get on that!

Shane: When it comes to McBrayer, I'm pretty sure Ashley does not need to be told to "get on that."

Bill: While Old Man Hoppenfeffer must travel to Hawaii to visit his sister, he leaves Jack McBrayer in charge of the 42nd Street Miracle Orphanage.

When the plumber leaves a message on the answering machine that he won't be able to make it down on Christmas Eve, Jack thinks it is in fact Santa calling and realizes that Santa just has to make it down this year. NO MATTER WHAT!

Jack has to get to the North Pole to change Santa's mind. He calls all of his friends including Peter Falk, Tony Hawk and The Fraggles to raise enough money for an airplane ticket. Tony Hawk puts on a skateboarding competition. Peter Falk gets a job working at a greasy hamburger stand in New York. And the Fraggles all get jobs working backstage at a Broadway play.

Together they raise over $500.00 just in time for Jack to catch a flight to the North Pole. Jack rushes down to JFK to purchase a ticket and when he gets to the desk, the mean ticket lady laughs "There's no tickets to the North Pole." Of course you don't see her face, because the camera is on a sad, sad, sad Jack McBrayers.

Everybody in the terminal starts laughing except the nice old man with a big white beard behind Jack. "Don't be down Jack. You tried your best." The old man consoles Jack. "Let me give you a ride back to the Orphanage." After Jack lets out a huge sigh he says. "Oh boy. Nobody will want to see me back there. I've let everybody (punches at the air) down."

The old man takes Jack into his long red limo with a very short chauffeur as the head back to the orphanage.

But when they get there, there's a huge crowd of people waiting outside the front door. Everyone at the skateboard competition, everyone from the Broadway play (still in costume), several happy customers with burgers still in hand. Everyone was so moved by Jack's story that they came to adopt an orphan.

"What? You DID?" exclaims Jack about to pass out from all the excitement. "Well, OK. Come on inside everybody. Let's get some hot chocolate first!"

But when they get inside there's a beautiful tree, and under it a hundred presents for every boy and girl. The orphans all cheer with glee as they open bikes and footballs and dolls with bottles as their new parents hug them with warm cups of cocoa.

Jack is overcome with happiness, but there's no present under the tree for him... Or is there? Almost hidden under the wrapping paper is a small envelope with the word "Jack" on it.

Jack opens the envelope and all that's inside is a small weathered piece of paper that smells like candy canes. All it says is

-a friend

Jack's mouth is wide open from disbelieve, he looks up just in time to see the old man from the airport. He winks at Jack and disappears into the crowd.

Another miracle at the orphanage! Everyone sings Joy to the World, but no one louder than ole' Jack. He makes little fists with his hands and sings with all his might. He did it. He saved Christmas for everyone

"..and nature sing!"

Freeze Frame on Jack's singing face.



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