There will be more to come later, but here is a teaser of my few days here in Chicago. This is an email Heather sent me the day after I arrived. Amber picked me up from the airport Wednesday and we met up with the JesterZ for a night out. Amber, Heather, and I all went to college together, so Heather got to be the lucky one we drunk-dialed. Here is word for word her email:

Subj: Phone Transcript

-A detailed account of Heather Moyer's activities between 1:20am and 1:50am on August 11-

Heather is sleeping. She hears the phone ring, but she never answers the phone while she's
half-asleep because if it's really important, the person will call back right away.

In the background, Heather hears an oddly distorted message, but can't make it out as the
machine is too far away from the bedroom.

Suddenly, Heather's cell phone rings. Her stomach drops because that now means someone is dead
or something is on fire. Amy grumbles about who the hell is calling us right now.

Heather gets up, staggers into the living room, steps on the cat, steps on the cat's sharp toy,
and then turns the light on. The cell phone has stopped ringing, so Heather listens to the
message on the machine.

The following is a transcript of that message on the home phone number's answering machine:
----------
(loud noise and garbled words), HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, CRAP, SHIT, WHAT? HAHAHAHAHAH
aslgijwogijwerovijnoivjhioerjhvboijhweroibhoi!!!!!
*beep*
------------

Now Heather listens to the message on her cell phone's voicemail. The following is a transcript
of that message:

------------
(very loud background noise)
Okay Heather. this is Ashley and Amber, for real. We're leaving you a message, we would like to
apologize for whatever message is on your phone. HAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

And now we are clearly drunk, ahhahahahahahhahahahaha!!!!!!!
laishfolahifsadghiwiouvbhuiweb!!!!!!!!!!

Mindy is someone I know who Amber only met tonight and Mindy is using Amber's vibrator in her
nether regions!!!!!

hahahhaahfgoaihgwoirhgouwerhgvaosifhoaihvoahvoh!!!!!!!!!
*beep*
------------

Heather's lovely wife rolls over to ask what's going on after hearing Heather say, "Those
fuckers" while laughing.

For the next 20 minutes as Heather tries to go back to sleep, she will just start to doze off
and then start giggling uncontrollably at what the hell just happened. The words "nether
regions" keep making her crack up and Amy is getting irritated that Heather keeps shaking the
bed with her laughter.

FIN