endeavors

Sunday, February 10, 2002

I have a few frustrations. So let me vent.

First of all, Friday night I went to see Tosha's show. I was supposed to meet about six of her friends who (or whom, can't remember the rules) I had never met before. One she has always referred to as "hottie c". So she tells them to look for a girl with big boobs. Well, I'm standing in the lobby when Erich walks in (boy I did "Cherry Orchard" with). YEA!! I no longer feel like waiting for Tosha's friends. At that moment, they walk in. Well, a group of six kids my age dressed nice--I figure it's them. They kind of check me out and vice versa, but no one makes any attempt to come over. Plus I'm wearing my jacket, so they really can't tell. They sit down. Erich and I then enter the space and he ends up picking the row right in front of them. Fine. So I take my jacket off. And I hear, "whoa, holy shit" and other comments like that from this "hottie c" person who I already did not like because of his web page. He just seems like a punk who says LOL way too damn much. And now he's having a spaz attack behind me. So the girl directly behind me leans forward to make eye contact with this guy (I can see it out of the corner of mine), and she whispers, "What? Are they? I can't see anything." And he says yes and a few other things. It is at this moment that I want to turn around and say, "Helloooo, I am sitting directly in front of you. I can hear every word you are saying." But I don't. And so that makes me like him even less. Why do people act like four-year-olds? Blechk. And he's not all that hot. To me. Tosha and I have very different taste in boys. She thinks this guy is a hottie, and I prefer Foxy Boy. I like the dark Italian types.

Next topic. How pathetic am I? Let me tell ya. So, Lorianne is having a dinner party Tuesday night. I don't really want to go. I have that damn sickness again. P.S. Went to Urgent Care tonight because I'm not going to dick around with it anymore and end up with pneumonia. I paid $25 for the doctor to pretty much tell me that Nyquil (which I have in my linen closet at the moment) will take care of it. Good god. At least test me for mono or something. I have a fever for cryin' out loud. It's hard for me to breathe. Don't tell me that's the flu. I watch ER, dammit. OK, back to our regularly scheduled program. So I'm not really feeling up to a dinner party. Especially not one with an Asian theme (it's for the Chinese New Year--Lorianne is not Chinese. Actually, I'm pretty sure she's Greek). I don't have the time or the money to make an Asian dish. Or I could bring a bottle of wine. I don't drink wine. Or beer. I'm not going to bring something to a party that I myself am not going to consume. And, again, I'm sick. I don't really feel like being around people at the moment. It was hard enough to go to work. I really shouldn't have, but I feel like a shmuck for calling off. In my entire working career, I've called off work three times. In eight years. One because I was vomiting so much I couldn't leave the bathroom. One because a guy was trying to jump off an overpass into traffic and they closed the highway, then almost all of downtown because of road rage (so there was absolutely no possibly way I could get to Cinci), and one because Rebecca was in a coma. So I never call off. And the last thing I want to do is go to work tomorrow. I just want to lay in bed all day and get better. Maybe I'll feel different in the morning. I hope so. Being sick sucks. So what the hell does all of this have to do with my patheticness? LA's roommate is good friends with Foxy Boy, so there is a small chance that he may be there. So that makes me kind of want to go. AAHHH!!! What is the deal!?! Who knows? Just let me lead my sad little life.

And the last thing on my list. zha sent a lot of people this puzzle. I read it and we discussed it. During our conversation we (or maybe it was me and he doesn't agree with me, but if I'm remembering our conversation correctly, he does) decided that the only people who choose A and B don't understand the question or don't want one million dollars. And then these "philosophers" brought up the question of free will. Free will doesn't even play into the situation at all. This being is not making the choice for you. It is only guessing what you might do, and it happens to be very accurate. So your own free will doesn't play into the situation at all. Which makes that whole section completely irrelevant. Am I wrong? Do you disagree? Please, let me know.

OK, I'm done. I'm going to take my medicine and hope that I magically feel completely better in the morning.

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