It doesn't matter anymore.

Knowing or not knowing won't change anything. It was in the past. What's done is done. If they hooked up while we were dating, who cares? It has absolutely no effect on my current life. The only reason I would want to know is to quench my own thirst. And I realized after a few text messages and an email that if I asked him, it would really hurt him. He doesn't want to see or talk to me for a while. I had no idea how much he still thinks about me or how much he wants me back.

I'm so sorry. You'll find her. She's out there. But she's just not me.