Holy crap I'm tired, but I want to get this down before I sleep. Learned something interesting about myself tonight. I'm way different in L4 than I was in L3. And it's all confidence. When I started in L3 in January, I was completely intimidated by this group of people who've been working together for months. I was the weird new girl. Who was also a spaz. It took me a little while to find my place. Plus I rehearsed for 2 months before my first performance. In L4, I did a 10 oclock show, was asked to be in L4, rehearsed once, then have been doing shows ever since. I haven't found my place. I don't feel like my ideas are good enough. For instance, tonight Specht directed the 10 oclock. There was a scene Liz did that I had an idea for, but I sat and waited. Then I never went on. Well, Specht suggested my idea when we were in notes. If that had been an L3 show, I would have gone on. I would have felt completely comfortable. But since I'm still feeling things out in L4, I lack the confidence.

I'm glad I figured that out. Because I felt like last night's show was great and I had a ton of ideas, but tonight's show I had nothing. Liz told me to just do it. To trust myself. So, okay. I will.