Movie Review: Troy
Well, I have Netflix again by accident, so I've been watching a lot of movies. Yesterday's waste of 2 hours and 57 minutes was Troy. Do not see it. Unless you are a freak for Greek history. In a similar vein, do not see Master and Commander unless you really like boats. The only redeeming quality of Troy was Brad Pitt's fight scenes. They were spectacular. The choreography was very inventive and fast. I was quite impressed with that. But the rest sucked.
"But, Ashley," you might say, "your boyfriend was in it."
Yes. Yes he was. And he sucked as well. His character was a wuss. Now, in Gladiator, Commodus was a wuss. But Joaquin Phoenix made him lovable. In fact, that was one of my favorite characters in that movie (which I liked better the first time when it was called Braveheart). But unfortunately, Orlando Bloom did nothing wonderful in this film. And don't even get me started on the female characters. They were all so one-dimensional. Helen of Troy wasn't even that pretty. And she's supposed to be the most beautiful woman in all of history. Diane Kruger is a hot chick, don't get me wrong, but Orlando Bloom was prettier. Hmmm, maybe he should have played Helen. And I couldn't tell if she loved Paris or if she was going against her will. Her actions did nothing to make me believe the former.
There was a scene between Priam and Achilles that could have been so great, but it was a flat performance by Peter O'Toole. Which made me think it was poor directing. However, Eric Bana was wonderful, so I'm not sure about that theory.
Brad Pitt was naked most of the movie, which was all well and good, but he mumbled. That's my note on all of his films. I think he's a terrific actor (see 12 Monkeys, Fight Club, Se7en), but he talks like his mouth is full of rocks. It's annoying.
In short, Troy blew chunks. Unless you watch it for the fight scenes or the history, I would not recommend it. In fact, I almost turned it off, but I have this thing where I will sit through an entire movie no matter how much I hate it. Because I have to at least give it a chance.
Well, I have Netflix again by accident, so I've been watching a lot of movies. Yesterday's waste of 2 hours and 57 minutes was Troy. Do not see it. Unless you are a freak for Greek history. In a similar vein, do not see Master and Commander unless you really like boats. The only redeeming quality of Troy was Brad Pitt's fight scenes. They were spectacular. The choreography was very inventive and fast. I was quite impressed with that. But the rest sucked.
"But, Ashley," you might say, "your boyfriend was in it."
Yes. Yes he was. And he sucked as well. His character was a wuss. Now, in Gladiator, Commodus was a wuss. But Joaquin Phoenix made him lovable. In fact, that was one of my favorite characters in that movie (which I liked better the first time when it was called Braveheart). But unfortunately, Orlando Bloom did nothing wonderful in this film. And don't even get me started on the female characters. They were all so one-dimensional. Helen of Troy wasn't even that pretty. And she's supposed to be the most beautiful woman in all of history. Diane Kruger is a hot chick, don't get me wrong, but Orlando Bloom was prettier. Hmmm, maybe he should have played Helen. And I couldn't tell if she loved Paris or if she was going against her will. Her actions did nothing to make me believe the former.
There was a scene between Priam and Achilles that could have been so great, but it was a flat performance by Peter O'Toole. Which made me think it was poor directing. However, Eric Bana was wonderful, so I'm not sure about that theory.
Brad Pitt was naked most of the movie, which was all well and good, but he mumbled. That's my note on all of his films. I think he's a terrific actor (see 12 Monkeys, Fight Club, Se7en), but he talks like his mouth is full of rocks. It's annoying.
In short, Troy blew chunks. Unless you watch it for the fight scenes or the history, I would not recommend it. In fact, I almost turned it off, but I have this thing where I will sit through an entire movie no matter how much I hate it. Because I have to at least give it a chance.
posted by a c at
8:58 AM
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