I had really emotional dreams the past two nights, and I've woken up exhausted. The first one was about luggage. I was at an airport, and my mom was sending me off somewhere. I remember thinking, hmmm, this must be before 9/11. Otherwise my mom wouldn't be allowed at the gate with me. Also, we had to load our own luggage onto the flight, which is why I had my huge suitcase and my carry-on with me. I lost my suitcase. I ran back to the bathroom to see if I left it there. This bathroom was like a locker room at an old highschool. I remember every detail. The white tile was dirty and wet. There were stalls, a changing area, and also showers. I have had another dream in this same locker room. Anyway, I'm running around trying not to slip on the wet tile, but furiously looking for my luggage. And crying. Really hard. I don't know why. But it was imperative that I find my suitcase. I spot it in a changing room and run back to get in line. It is also imperative that I not miss this flight. Do you ever notice how dreams are always life or death? Well, then I realize that I've lost my carry-on. I leave my suitcase with my mom at the gate, and run back to the bathroom to find my carry-on. Most of my dream is me running around, crying, looking for lost luggage. I find it tucked behind a toilet. The dream ends.

Then last night I dreamt that Paul and I were still together. I sat him down and told him that I cheated on him. But that it wasn't a big deal. I thought I was going to break up with him, which is why I did it. Then I decided to stay with him because I realized I really loved him. I was never going to tell him what I had done, but because I would want him to tell me if he had, I felt the need to come clean. He got all upset, then I got upset for hurting him. We were laying on my bed in the house I grew up in (that somebody else sleeps in now that my folks moved) hugging really tight and crying really hard. My mom comes in to look for a pair of socks or something random. I ask her to leave us alone for a minute. She says sure, but continues to rummage through my drawers. Then I scream at her and the most foul language comes out of my mouth. She gets all offended and leaves. Then Paul says, I guess it hurts so much because I just realized how much I really love you. We keep crying until I wake up.



For the record, in real life I've never cheated on anyone I've dated.