How does one give oneself a bloody nose? Well, let me tell ya. Begin by walking in the dark holding your cell phone in your left hand and your keys in your right. Then the wind needs to pick up and blow hair in your face, not only startling you, but also making your eye itch. Then, quite quickly and violently, you should shove your hand in your face to scratch your eye and get your hair out of there. Naturally, the antenna of your phone will proceed directly up your nose in a painful manner.

How is it that one person can be so klutzy?