The Official Story Of How I Did Not Break My LegKneeFoot
Some of you have heard it, but I left out a key component--what exactly I was wearing. Here is the full tale:
Saturday night I was going to a friend's house for dinner, and I decided to make brownies. They would take an hour to bake, so I went outside to tan. Now, only the bottoms of my suit are in, but I didn't want to have a tan line. So I took two washcloths and folded them up over my boobs. I guess I could have gone topless, but the next door neighbors have a two story house and can see into the back yard from the upstairs. As I have mentioned before, N & B are out of town. They have a list of things for me to do. One of them is put chlorine in the skimmer. What is a skimmer, you might ask? Well, I'll tell you. It's built into their deck about 1.5 feet deep and has a bucket that catches the pine needles from above neighbor's trees. It is less than 1 foot in diameter.
I'm laying in the pool, wearing bikini bottoms and two folded up washcloths when I decide I'd rather be laying on the deck listening to music. (Bob had purchased an MP3 player for me when he was in China) I gather my phone, MP3 player, and towel and head over to the lounge chair. It is at this point that I step directly into the skimmer basket. My first thought is, "Crap. I think I just broke my leg and knee and foot." My second thought is, "Crap. I just dropped the washcloths." I stay there for a few seconds afraid to look down at what I had just done. I feel my toes folded up in the pit. My knee and leg are throbbing. My thumb is bleeding and my MP3 player is toast. Sadness.
Well, my leg begins to swell at an odd angle and everything feels kinda weird. I realize now that it was probably shock. I hobble over to the lounge chair and continue to lay out. I wasn't going to let something like a broken leg get in the way of my tan. But the skin was raw and started to fry under the sun. I limp inside and give up.
After church Sunday I spend my afternoon at the Urgent Care. Nothing to worry about. Just horribly bruised. And I even get jipped on that! I don't bruise easily. I would be the perfect battered wife b/c no one would see any marks. My leg is killing me and swollen, but only slightly green. What a rip off. I really need to mow the lawn, but it may have to wait until tomorrow after work. My leg still throbs a little when I'm on it for too long.
The best part about this whole ordeal is how ridiculous I must have looked. A semi-naked chick stepping directly into a 2 foot hole. Ahhh, reason 978 why I am not a stripper or porn star.
Some of you have heard it, but I left out a key component--what exactly I was wearing. Here is the full tale:
Saturday night I was going to a friend's house for dinner, and I decided to make brownies. They would take an hour to bake, so I went outside to tan. Now, only the bottoms of my suit are in, but I didn't want to have a tan line. So I took two washcloths and folded them up over my boobs. I guess I could have gone topless, but the next door neighbors have a two story house and can see into the back yard from the upstairs. As I have mentioned before, N & B are out of town. They have a list of things for me to do. One of them is put chlorine in the skimmer. What is a skimmer, you might ask? Well, I'll tell you. It's built into their deck about 1.5 feet deep and has a bucket that catches the pine needles from above neighbor's trees. It is less than 1 foot in diameter.
I'm laying in the pool, wearing bikini bottoms and two folded up washcloths when I decide I'd rather be laying on the deck listening to music. (Bob had purchased an MP3 player for me when he was in China) I gather my phone, MP3 player, and towel and head over to the lounge chair. It is at this point that I step directly into the skimmer basket. My first thought is, "Crap. I think I just broke my leg and knee and foot." My second thought is, "Crap. I just dropped the washcloths." I stay there for a few seconds afraid to look down at what I had just done. I feel my toes folded up in the pit. My knee and leg are throbbing. My thumb is bleeding and my MP3 player is toast. Sadness.
Well, my leg begins to swell at an odd angle and everything feels kinda weird. I realize now that it was probably shock. I hobble over to the lounge chair and continue to lay out. I wasn't going to let something like a broken leg get in the way of my tan. But the skin was raw and started to fry under the sun. I limp inside and give up.
After church Sunday I spend my afternoon at the Urgent Care. Nothing to worry about. Just horribly bruised. And I even get jipped on that! I don't bruise easily. I would be the perfect battered wife b/c no one would see any marks. My leg is killing me and swollen, but only slightly green. What a rip off. I really need to mow the lawn, but it may have to wait until tomorrow after work. My leg still throbs a little when I'm on it for too long.
The best part about this whole ordeal is how ridiculous I must have looked. A semi-naked chick stepping directly into a 2 foot hole. Ahhh, reason 978 why I am not a stripper or porn star.
posted by a c at
4:38 PM
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