OK, so here's the deal. Monday night Paul and I broke up. We want different things out of life and that wasn't going to change. I don't want to speak for him, but I think we both knew it, but neither one of us had the balls to do anything about it. Next year I'm planning a move to LA. He really does *not* want to go. Plus we have different friends and interests. And he wants a family before I do. Not any time soon...But I definitely do NOT want a family, so I sort of saw that as becoming a problem down the line. I'm a selfish actor focused on her career. It would have been easier if we had been fighting or didn't still love each other. But that's not the case. I'm moving in with my aunt and uncle until our lease is up in August. Monday night was so amazingly hard. And it's only gotten worse. I went in to work this morning and read an email he sent me. I then left work and drove down to the apartment. We had a great talk about everything. I was so scared that he would hate me or never want to see me again. That is not the case. I still may come over every once in a while to watch Desparate Housewives, The OC, or Lost. It's going to be hard--I'm not kidding myself about that--but he's such a huge part of my life, I can't just up and leave that. If this transitions well, I think we'll be great friends for the rest of our lives. Like me and zha. I hope I will like (yet secretly hate) the new girls Paul dates. Not any time soon, mind you. I would hate to have to kill anyone if he moves on too quickly. I wish this didn't have to happen, but I feel so much better about things now. It would have been even worse if we had remained together. I may have put off LA, or we might have grown to resent each other. This way, it's a clean break on good terms. It's still going to be difficult, but I think it's for the best. I have grown so much and learned so much from and with him. This has been an amazing three years. I'm going to miss his family. They ruled. I'm going to miss a ton of things. But you pick yourself up and go on with life.

So there it is. A new chapter begins.