Sometimes time moves too fast. Sometimes it moves not fast enough. The frustrating thing is that it happens simultaneously.

So much so much so much. But too tired to get into anything. Rehearsal was great fun. Drove by the old Echo Park house and waved. Need to tell Clif the specific reasons why I enjoy improvising with him. 11:30 on a Monday night is when our parking garage is the most full. Walking up the stairs sounded weird, so I paused. Then realized it was the quietest I've ever heard it outside and the weirdness was my loud clomping. Big day tomorrow. Lots of work ahead of me. Disneyland on Thursday!

Ben, if you don't want to get a Tonks headbutt, don't wear a bullseye on your shirt. Ask Hagrid. He'll tell you.

Thoughts on vampires

Stef took me to see Twilight Friday. Faith got super into the books and kept telling me I needed to read them. I've been so spoiled with the deliciousness of Harry Potter and so busy lately that I didn't want to take the time out to get into another huge series. Also, I knew that I didn't want to read the books before I saw the movie. HP is being produced by a huge company. Twilight is not. I wasn't sure what to expect. I ended up liking it, on the whole. Besides, it's about vampires, which is an interest to me (see: Buffy obsession). There were parts of the movie I wish were done differently. Stef gave me the book, and I finished it in a day. I'm really glad I didn't read the book first. The movie would have been a huge disappointment.

Anyway, it got me to thinking why people like vampire stuff and the differences in reasons vs. the differences in gender. Here is my hypothesis:

Men are attracted to the power and primal aspects. Increased strength, agility, almost nearly indestructible. Women fall at their feet. And usually those women have heaping amounts of cleavage. Plus, it's very animalistic. Seriously, go to your google finder at the top of your page and type in "animalistic" then hit the space bar. The first option that comes up is "animalistic vampire". They are hunters, which is what we were originally. And in a lot of ways, still are. Vampires are sort of like James Bond, except even cooler. They are super slick, crazy smart, and get any girl they want.

Something completely different appeals to women. It's the love aspect. It's so funny b/c I overheard so many conversations at the movie with girls quoting their favorite lines or squealing about their favorite parts. They were solidly about the same thing. Love. Each vampire franchise is different. In Twilight they have to be ripped apart and burned to be destroyed, but they can go in the sun. In Buffy, a quick stake to the heart does the trick, but religious objects don't kill them (they smoke a little). In From Dusk Til Dawn, holy water makes them 'splode. But the one thing across the board is: it's unnatural for a vampire to love a human. It's against instinct and nature.

That's why women are drawn to it. For a vampire to love a human, that's got to be pretty damn strong love. They are immortal, so not only do they have a pick from every woman in the world, they have a pick from every woman across time. That's a lot. To be singled out from that, to have him love you so much that it goes against everything...well, it's almost like Romeo and Juliet. A timeless love story where they loved each other so much they died. This also represents the ultimate commitment. If he turns you so you can be together, there will be no "death do you part." You will be together forever. That's how women want to be loved: balls out.

So, I think that's why, no matter what the particular mythology, vampires appeal both to men and women on a very basic level, but in very different ways.

It's all Misa's fault. She sent an email out about her upcoming shows and one of them is based off of a letter from an audience member. Which made me think of The Letter I wrote to John Marovich a million and five years ago. I think I have a copy of it somewhere. I would totally bring it. Nothing is better than a confession to your first love knowing that it won't go anywhere but writing it anyway hoping it'll help you get over him. It took 10 years for me to delete his number from my phone book. Not that I held a torch for that long (though, in all honesty, I probably held a torch for a year. I'm an angsty kinda chick). But one day I was deleting numbers and thought, man, I haven't talked to this dude in 5 years. I should probably get rid of this. So I did.

Tonight I had Latchkey Kids rehearsal, then a LK show followed immediately by a Semi-Awesomatics show. Then I stuck around for the fantastically horrible jam. I haven't been around Bad Improv in a while, and it was super fun! Haven't seen Baby Bird in almost 3 weeks, and we ended up hanging out in Burger King for 2 hours. Talking about relationships. It was really fun to reminisce about mine and hear all about his. I told the Beginning of Justin story, which is one of my all-time favorites. And my First Date with Paul, which is my favorite first date. And the 7 year Foxy Boy Situation.

It ended with BB bringing up Tiny Vessels by Deathcab for Cutie. And it made me think of the end of Foxy Boy. How we spent 3 straight days together before he left. How he thought I was asleep and told me he loved me, because he never intended for me to hear it. How the next morning I told him a part of me was in love with him. How we had to say goodbye fast and awkwardly b/c Stef was going to take my spot in front of their apartment. How I unexpectedly sobbed on the drive home.

I don't know why I think of him when I listen to that song. Partly because I got that album the week after he left and I listened to it non-stop. But mainly I think because I was making what we had more than what it was, so that last part speaks loudly to me. I wanted to be in love with him. But the truth was we would never work out, so I never really invested--it was mostly just physical. He wasn't someone I could see myself with long-term. Or even in a serious relationship. He wasn't a relationship kinda guy. (self-proclaimed) And, technically, we never even *had* a relationship. But he was one of my best friends out here. High atop a short list. And I really miss him. I could always count on him if I needed anything. Hell, when we first moved out here, he was the one who helped me find a cashier's check place b/c Faith was passed out at zha's house and I was pissed. He listened to me blather on about The One Who Got Away. We could call each other in the middle of the night, no matter what time zone we were in.

On my drive home from AZ, we chatted for awhile. I truly hope things are going okay for him. The reason he had to move home was a sucky one, and I didn't bring it up. He doesn't like to talk about stuff, but I felt like I should have at least asked. It was good to hear his voice and hear that he's doing well. He was going to a pitch meeting that night, which was exciting. I have no idea when I'll ever get back to OH, but I hope I have a chance to see him. I hope good things happen to him. He's one of my favorite people.

And I just really miss my friend.

Words you never want to hear from your mechanic, no matter how awesome he is and no matter if he charges you 1/2 price for labor and one of the parts b/c he likes you and knows this is going to be a lot of money:

"Come outside. We need to talk about your car."

I've been really lucky with my car. My battery lasted the entire time in AZ, which is almost unheard of. The sun and heat usually kill batteries in 3 years. Mine lasted over 5. Before I went on the bit trip with The Remainders a few years ago, I had all of my fluids flushed and a tune up and everything. Last year I bought new brakes. So, other than the normal wear and tear, it's been smooth sailin'. Today I was informed my struts are shot. I just drove 800 miles in 2 days and my car pretty much shouldn't have been on the road. He showed me the damage that was already starting on the T-frame. Struts should be changed around 50-60K. I'm at 131K and this is the first I've had to deal with them. They get checked every oil change. So, again, I've been fortunate with my car. I also still have a line of credit from the shocks and he's going to give me 1 year no interest, but it's going to be $1400. I was literally on the phone 5 minutes before with zha talking about how I really want to have my credit card paid off before I move to Austin.

So, some changes are going to have to be made. No going out. No dinners. No bar tabs. Certain things I've already planned: Tosha this weekend, lunch/movie with Stef next week, Disney with Faith and fam the day after Thanksgiving. But I'm gonna have to tighten my belt on the rest. And focus on work. I've been slacking off (plus the system's been down and I've had computer problems) for the past month. So both of those things combined have left me with small pay checks.

On top of all of that, I'm super unhappy out here. I think I've mentioned this before, but I'm starting to feel the way I felt my last year in OH. Anxious. Ready to go. And yesterday at one of my meetings I got some not good news about my audits. I'm officially on verbal warning and have 30 days to improve my quality. The thing is, it's not because I'm going too fast and am making typographical mistakes. It's because I've been told one thing by one person and the procedure is something else. There was a specific time my supervisor backed me up, but audit came back and denied the appeal. It's all been very frustrating b/c I was never trained on this product. I'm self-taught. I told them I'd be more than willing to come in for a week or whatever they wanted for training. Being the competitive perfectionist I am, I haven't been happy with my audit scores, anyway. I love my job. I hope to keep it for the rest of my life. This is just one more stress I don't need at the moment.

Sorry for this to be such a whiny post, but a lot of crap has happened in the past 24 hours. Boo.

Jam-packed schedule!

I have 3 meetings at work in AZ on Friday starting at 8am. Since I'll be in town, I decided to get everything done I could possibly do. Leave LA at 4:30am tomorrow morning to make my 11:30 dentist appointment. Then a 1:30 hair cut. Hazel is great, and I love what she's done thus far. However, now that I'm growing it out...well...she cut my hair way cooler than I actually am. So I'm going to my old guy in AZ who first gave me bangs to try to fix the layering that makes me look like I have a rectangle head, as I'm not the best at styling. From there I head to my sister's for an early dinner at a new restaurant where her man works. Early to bed b/c I'll have to leave her place by 7. Then it's meetings til early afternoon. Topping it off is a visit with Olympia, the best waxer on the planet! I'm so excited to see her! Then I drive back to CA, which I'm sure will take about 7 hours since I'll be dealing with Friday traffic.

Friday night is an evening with the WSU Crew and Tosha at The Edison. Now I'm off to LAX to pick up my Special Lady!

Tosha comes today!!! I'm up and showered and dressed already, b/c I have to get in 4 hours of work before I drive to LAX (boo!). (plus there was a snafoo with one of the roommate's rent checks and I have to go to the bank with them to get a cashier's check. Lots to do before noon!)

In other news, I'm getting really antsy about my living situation. I want to get out of here. Granted, I love my little LA family and they'll be keeping a giant piece of my heart, but I just really need to live alone. I've been doing roommates in one form or another since 2003, and it's time I move on with my life.

Also, I need a pet.

Damn you, Ghirardelli, and your Limited Edition Peppermint Bark. Daaaaammmmnnnnnnnn Yooooouuuuuuuuu!!!

*kneeling: shakes one fist in air as rain beats down on face. other hand is busy stuffing mouth*

This bird has a cold. All I want to do is go to bed early tonight. Instead, I will do a Latchkey Kids show at 8 and a Semi-Awesomatics show at 9. Jenn of the Cool Kids is coming to the shows tonight, so I sorta have to be there. Besides, I'm not dying. I went to bed early the past two nights and got lots of sleep. That coupled with a few doses of Zicam has helped contain my grossness mainly to my nose.

When I leave LA, I will miss Pinkberry. I had a smoothie on my way home from the movie this morning. It had blueberries, blackberries, strawberries and raspberries in it. Anti-oxidant power punch! Le yum.

I am getting sick.

I just sneezed so hard it made my fingers tingle.

I miss watching football. It's the one reason I wish I had a boyfriend. I guess not even that--I'd be satisfied with guy friends who were into it. It's just not as fun to watch by yourself or with a girl. I have fond memories of driving over to TGIFriday's w/ Paul and drinking at 11 in the morning. $3 Long Islands and Jack Daniels Chicken Fingers. Oh, man, those were good Sundays.

I'm really nervous about the election this Tuesday. I haven't watched who's ahead in the polls b/c it's too scary. Besides, the man who won the popular vote a few years ago didn't become president.

Go vote.